Marianne to God:
Dear God, my 22-month-old child was born three months premature, and has had some difficulties. In some ways, he has gone beyond what the doctors predicted when he was born, but naturally I want more for him.
Dear God, please help me remember the difference between trying to control situations and putting my attention on things which I would like to happen.
I know the saying, "What you put your attention on grows stronger", but if I'm thinking (or sometimes obsessing) about my son's health and wanting him to have good vision, avoid respiratory infections, and especially to achieve developmental milestones like walking, or the hundred other things I want for him, how am I not trying to control the situation, which I gather is wrong?
I hope I'm making sense. I understand that I should try not to worry, but it's so much easier said than done.
I'm getting better at noticing when I'm focusing on the negative, and I'm getting better at letting the bad thoughts go. But I do feel so heavy-hearted most of the time.
As I type this, Joseph just started saying "love" (well, his version is more like "lol") several times. That made me laugh and made me feel a bit more lighthearted.
Anyway, God, please help me work on having the right frame of mind — is it attention on the positive, but not controlling…I think I get part of it but I need help.
How can you be a devoted parent and not worry? So there's a correct way to worry?
God to Marianne:
Dear Marianne, your tender heart expands in love and contracts in pain. Worry is contraction and joy is love. And you tear your heart with worry because your beloved child may not meet the world's standards and what you have been led to think is right.
In order not to feel anxious and worry, you have to let go of the boundaries and expectations of the world and come to My acceptance. Make My acceptance yours.
And that is what you are asking about.
Will you let go of the concept good and bad? Or more and less? Or right and wrong? Or the idea of mistake or rightness? When you can, then you also let go of the heaviness.
Please know, My dearest Mother Marianne, that I do comprehend what it is for the human mother to love her child and want more for him. I grasp how your heart aches because Joseph may not be able to achieve what you would want.
If there were not that imaginary line of good and bad, you would be happy. You would not be chagrined. In terms of the world, why wouldn't it be good for your child to walk and see well and be free of respiratory infection and the hundred other wishes you naturally have for your beloved child. Who wouldn't want their child to be all the things that all mothers want? Certainly, you can love your children as they are, and yet still want increments of everything for them.
The thing is to love them as they are and watch them follow My Will. The thing is to not give up desiring good for them and yet not have to have it. But what is good for your baby, you may not know, dear Marianne.
Apparently, I am the only One who can say with a full heart, "I want this child to be as he is."
How important do you think it is to Me that beautiful Joseph meet certain milestones? I do not quite know milestones. I did not make them.
Know that Joseph is a gift. He has more acceptance than most will ever know.
Do not ache over his outer development.
Rejoice over his love.
Does any child have greater love than he?
The love he gives and the love he receives?
Who has greater?
His birth made you mother.
He created you.
And look at your love.
Look how great it is.
Now, know this.
It is My love.
And Joseph is My child, not yours.
Think of him as My child.
You are his caretaker on earth, but he is Mine.
You do not even have to turn him over to Me, for he is already Mine.
You are Mine also.
But you have to turn yourself over to Me.
Wanting, even as a mother wants for her child, is control.
Joseph knows how to develop.
Receive his chart, not the world's.
Throw away the world's expectations, and you throw away your worry.
Remember that Joseph is a blessing.
Do not feel sorry for him nor for yourself.
Be glad for him, and be glad for yourself.
Joseph is teaching what is important. All the things that you have thought important are not.
Isn't it revealing how he speaks the word love?
He knows whereof he speaks.
It is not wrong for you to want your child to achieve what you hold dear. It's just that your wanting doesn't ease things. Wanting for another creates an energy that works against what you want, dear Marianne.
Joseph matters, not what he achieves. He doesn't know that there is other development more preferred than his own. And he is right. And he is right.
This is deep life that you are dealing with. This is not paint on your wall that isn't the color you wanted. This isn't your child not getting an A in math. This is not your child choosing a career opposed to your choice. This is basic life. And yet it is the same.
Remind yourself that Joseph is My child, not yours. He belongs to Me. I have entrusted him to your care. I am well-pleased with him and with you. I am responsible for Joseph. Leave the responsibility with Me. Your responsibility is to continue the care and love you give and to leave off the concern. Will you do that, My sweetheart Marianne?
Tell Me more things, and ask Me more questions.
My hands are on your shoulders right now. I bless your shoulders. I am removing the heaviness from them. Do they feel lighter now?