Gloria to Heavenreaders:
The following is a note that came from a two-week subscriber who decided not to continue. The note touched me very much, and stirred some questions for God:
Nonsubscriber to Heavenletters:
Dear Gloria, I have been receiving your letters and reading them with much interest. I am awed at your relationship to the Higher One. I feel that I can at this point not yet enter the sphere that you are in. I feel at the moment still a foreigner to your grounds. Thank you for letting me see the world that you are seeing. I am keeping your letters and hope someday to be able see as you do. Now it feels too foreign to me.
Thank You.
Gloria to God:
Dear God, my first question: if what this person says is her truth, then I don't understand why she doesn't choose to subscribe.
God:
There is something she doesn't feel comfortable with. I would venture that I shake her sense of worth. There is a certain comfort in not feeling worthy, for it allows you to stay as you are (as you think you are) without possibility of failure. What if someone were to think they could, by some stretch of the imagination, be worthy of My love, and then find they were not? Too big a risk to take. Safer to stay in the same world.
If this soul had written you that she simply couldn't relate to Heavenletters, you wouldn't have been so touched, but that is what she is saying. She says she cannot connect to it. Likely she is saying she doesn't see how she can deserve it.
As for you, Gloria, be not so affected by a sweet no, or a sweet yes. You simply are a record-keeper. You check renewed or not renewed. Do not invest so much of yourself. Let me take care of this fine person.
Gloria:
Thank You.
Now again, taking this letter as literal, I was a little taken aback! I had to stop and think: What world does she think I live in? Awed? Awed at Your kindness and love to us all? Awed at Our relationship? Awed at Our communication? Awed that the Higher One would spend time with an ordinary person in this day and age? Does she think I live a life different from hers?
I am so happy and grateful, dear God, that You correspond with me, and that our correspondence can be shared. I exude in Your love, when I put my attention there.
Before Our exchange began, if I had thought that one day You would become an intimate part of my life, I would have been in Seventh Heaven! I would have thought I would be so continuously happy that I would only leap for joy, that I would be ecstatic all the time.
When I am actually experiencing You, as I am now as I write to You, my heart quickens. When I take down Your words or read and reread Your words, my heart is enlivened. When not in the actual moment with You, then it is just ordinary. It's not momentous. God communicates with me, and I dare to communicate with Him, but the recognition of it becomes almost mundane, dear God.
God:
When you are in the moment with Me, you are heartened. It is good to stay in the moment with Me. That is the only moment there is, so be there.
At the same time, it is natural and not extraordinary to communicate with Me. It is not reaching the top of a mountain after a long climb. It is reaching Me right where you are. No matter where you are.
Happiness in the relative cannot sustain itself. Happiness in the relative is relative. You are happier one day than another. You equate happiness with excitement. You want to attain something, and you have happiness when you attain it, but you cannot jump for joy every minute. It would wear you out.
The heart-stirring you feel when consciously with Me is feeling Me in the base of the relative. God at the base of the relative. The communing with Me is heart-filling quiet, and it can sustain itself. That is the power of keeping your attention on Me. You keep your mind silent.
Gloria:
I think You have said that communicating with you is like taking walks with You. And I was thinking what a difference between a walk with You and a walk without You. The sights you point out. The insights you give. The delirium of walking with you as compared to the emptiness of a walk without You. It's like the difference of being part of a wonderful family or being a forlorn orphan. One has a basis always and the other is a wanderer looking for a basis.
God:
No one is an orphan, Gloria.
Gloria:
When I feel far from you, then I've disassociated myself from You?
God:
It can't be the other way around. I'm right here. If you don't feel My presence, then you have, perhaps like the non-subscriber, thought yourself unworthy.
Put your attention on My worth. I'll take care of yours.
* * *
Ruth to God:
Dear God, thank You so much for your beautiful and reassuring answer to me. I am taking it to heart, and I pray that You will help me to keep my heart and mind on You.
Your immensely grateful daughter.
Margaret to God:
Dear God, thank You so much for Your answer to Ruth's question about self-destructive children yesterday. It seems that, though my mind knows the answer, my heart must be reminded over and over and over.
Thank You for your patient persistence with us and all Your love.