Gloria to God:
At the last Ask God continuing ed workshop, A.J. received unforgettable messages from You. The one that stands out for me is that forgiving is not what we have thought: "Forgiveness is total acceptance without reservation." That is profound, dear God.
I wonder if grieving is non-acceptance, if it's really a protest. I resist acceptance of the thought that Ginger died. If I fight it enough, maybe it won't be true; I'll make it go away, and she will come bounding over to me.
I wonder if my grieving finishes when I finally accept the inevitability that Ginger isn't ever coming back AND — at the same time — the truth that she isn't gone.
God:
We could say lots of things. We could say that grieving blocks the flow of grieving, that it comes from denial, from a denial of truth. The truth is that only the surface has changed. Deny that, and you grieve, and you keep denying and finally wear down your grief until you decide to tuck it away.
Very quickly you are going through all the stages of grief and back again.
You know that Ginger's spirit is fine here with Me. What you don't know yet is that you are fine without her in her body.
You know that expression — pressing someone's buttons? Ginger pressed buttons in you that you liked. You like yourself less without her to press your buttons of tenderness and closeness.
What you depended on her for is within you. You haven't lost anything.
The intensity you are experiencing today comes from all the past grief you have ever denied. That is to say from all past tenderness, expressed and unexpressed.
Gloria:
Thank You, God.
This morning I bumped into someone I know at the post office. He's a very kind honest person who has done good work in our house.
So at the post office, I told him that we had lost Ginger, and I started to cry. He was kind. But then he said, "At least with a dog, they're easily replaceable."
I said, "No, no one could replace her. There will never be another like her. Just as there could never be another you."
And with that thought, I am sad all day.
God:
Gloria, diamonds have many facets, and different lights reflect these different facets. There is no replacement for Ginger. There will never be another like her that you will love in exactly the same way.
But you will love and feel lighthearted again, and you will not compare new love to what you felt to Ginger because each love is all its own.
Obviously, you were not neutral with little Ginger.
Now you will grow in love and neutrality at the same time.
You don't have to have another love like Ginger.
Now other facets of the diamond will shine, until you are all light.
The lament of a "lost" love is always: There will never be another one like this.
You are richer for having known Ginger, as she is richer for having known you.
Now, give Me this sadness you feel today. Turn it over to Me. What do you need it for? Come up to My vibration, for what sadness can exist with Me?
Gloria:
None, I would think. But, dear God, I feel that my ego is being shredded, God, like You are the One making sure it's shredded. It's almost like I'm not here at all. I don't exist at all. I'm almost not a dot. I'm eyes that see things. I'm ears that hear things. But I don't know where I am in all this.
God:
You are with Me.
Gloria:
But this I am experiencing doesn't feel good.
God:
That's because you are letting go of old familiarliness. You are being made to let go of it.
Gloria:
Then I won't exist?
God:
You will exist all right. Ego will be vacated. You will be with Me.
It is like you are a tree, Gloria, with beautiful leaves. You, the tree, begin to notice the leaves dying and falling off. You think you are the leaves. You think you are dying. You didn't know you were the tree. The tree doesn't die. The leaves just fall off. The tree is left in its truth.
Then there will be nothing from you that is not from Me. Now that We are becoming One and separation is coming to an end, you imagine you enjoyed separation. And now the unseparating makes you scared. Becoming One with Me terrifies you! Isn't it funny? You have sought Me for so long, and now…
For so many years, you have disdained yourself, and now you want to keep that disdained disdaining self. It really had nothing at all to do with you. It was smoke. It was song and dance. Now is Real. Now is Reality, and you fear to let go of illusion. You hang on to nothing. In truth, you have to let go of all of that nothing. Of course, at moments, that nothing seems like everything to you. So, then, let go of everything. Let go of everything that you thought you were. Your accumulated memories. Your pain. Your fears. Your dis-ease. Your discomfort. Your attachment to attachment.
What will you have lost?
What will you have gained?
* * *
Abby to Heaven readers:
I feel so lucky to have these wonderful letters from Heaven every day!
Kasie, thank you so much for your kind words. I look forward to reading your question and response in Heaven letters.
And Nancy O., I'm so glad you asked the question about love! It is exactly what I was about to ask.
Love to everyone! — Abby, 19
Abby to God:
Dear God, thank You for the answer to my question April 17 about my father. It was very difficult to read because it made me realize how terribly judgmental I am and have been, not just of my father but of everyone. Please help me not to be so judgmental and please help me to let go of my anger with my father. I do love him very much and I don't want to be angry with him anymore. I know he has as many troubles as I do, and probably more. Please help us both.
Thank You for everything!
God to Abby:
You are helping Me, and I am helping you. Everyone whose eyes fall on this Heavenletter beg to be released from judgment. Isn't that a beautiful thing? Instead of staying firm and holding on to judgment, My children ask for their sense of injustice and judgment to melt. Furthermore, instead of asking for retribution, they ask Me to help those from whom they have felt wounds. Love your enemies. Of course, you have none. I bless you, Abby. Your anger is already melting, isn't it, dear one?
Diane to Heavenletters:
Nancy O's question about love April yesterday gives me the courage to ask my question.
Nancy L. to Heavenletters:
What a beautiful question that Nancy O. asked God yesterday. It reveals the kind and loving person that Nancy is. And God's answer was very satisfying to me. I hope it is also to Nancy O.