Gloria:
Dear God, in thinking about what You said yesterday about life, I realize I seem to look askance at certain things. Like being divorceD is terrible, not remarrying is terrible, not having more children is a deprivation and so on. I don't mean I go around thinking about it much, but when I do, I feel not only disappointed but also a certain shame.
My opinion about certain parts of my life certainly hasn't been neutral. And what is my opinion? Society's thoughts handed down to me? Are any opinions neutral? What are opinions anyway?
God:
It is not your opinion that I exist. It is not your opinion that it is raining or that the sun is out. It is not your opinion that you are divorced and have not remarried and have only one child. Opinion is an add-on. It is categorizing. It is a judgment. You were taught to look at certain things a certain way.
Gloria:
God, it's not my opinion that You are good.
God:
It is not your opinion that you are happy with Me. You are happy with Me. It is not your opinion that you have felt regret at certain things in your life. You have felt regret. But it is your opinion that allows you or forces you to feel certain ways about things. It is your opinion that draws a conclusion.
I am good, but that is also your opinion. Good and bad are opinions. What you do know is that I AM.
Your life is what you make of it. Your life is not what happens but what you make of what happens.
Opinions are not present time. They are crayons that color your life.
Gloria:
Thank You. Dear God, lately three things seem to be arriving in my life, dominating actually: 1. Memories of every humiliation I have ever gone through. 2. People in my family connecting to me at least somewhat. 3. Anger from other people coming at me.
The anger I speak of is not all overt expression. In one case it was lashing out, but in the other instances, I felt unexpressed negativity towards me. What is this all about?
God:
What do you think it is?
Gloria:
To get me stronger.
God:
That is correct. You will become so attentive to Me that what someone else thinks, says, or does, will be immaterial. You will see that someone's anger has nothing to do with you.
It is not that you will have a thick skin; it will be that you pay so much attention to Me that someone else's opinion will be no more to you than a fly buzzing around.
The truth is that nothing can hurt you. That has always been the truth, but now you are coming to know it. You have felt hurt because you thought you were vulnerable. Now you will know that you are vulnerable only to Me.
Gloria:
What is the importance of families, dear God? I think You said once that who the biological father is isn't that important, just that we've been conditioned to think so.
So why does contact with my family seem to mean so much to me? Is it the idea of family, or are they special connections?
God:
The fact that you are related gives entrée to each other. You have come across each other in your lives. You are people who have met.
It is something like having a neighbor who lives next door to you. There is a proximity. They are there. By virtue of living next door, there is a certain entitlement that would not exist if they lived two blocks away. They can come over for sugar, and it is not untoward, and your response is like a courtesy of the road.
So being related provides an excuse for entrée into one another's lives.
You will find that as you grow in purity and strength, more people will enter your life. They already have, friend and family alike.
Life is like a mystery. There are more clues all the time. People in your life are clues to the mystery of life.
Now to the people who you felt expressed or unexpressed anger from, the anger has been dormant. What is new is your awareness of it. You are less Little Red Riding Hood, Gloria. You don't keep your eyes closed so much. You know there is more than the surface.
The same way that someone may seem poised and confident, while inside they are trembling, so can someone seem friendly and loving; they can be portraying friendliness and yet covering some negativity.
But none of this is personal to you. They may think it is, if they are even aware of their own feelings, and you may think it is personal, but none of it is. It is always their own stuff, and they want to put it on you.
And when you are angry at someone, remember that it is your own stuff, too, not theirs.
Gloria:
I think I get too personal with people. Like I don't know how to be business-like with people. If I didn't get so close-seeming in the first place, discomfort wouldn't come later.
God:
If you set boundaries in the first place. If you did not give yourself away so much. If you knew your own worth. If you did not need love from them so much…
We come back to your right to boundaries. And remember Whose love it is you need, and Whose love you have.