Note to Heavenreaders: Just want to make sure that you notice that the following question is from a new Heavenreader. This is not the same Nancy who has asked questions before. — Gloria
Nancy O. to Gloria:
If you are going to use my name, which is American Indian and very unique, it means that all people will be able to identify me, and all the Heavenreaders get to know my issues. I am ok with that, I guess. Even though we think it is a very open society, most people do not understand another's dilemma unless they have walked in their moccasins.
So, with that prelude, my question to Our Heavenly Father is:
Nancy O. to God:
Dear God, I was a single parent for a long time and finally married someone who turned out to be quite out of balance. He wreaked havoc on my home and family until finally I kicked him out and began divorce proceedings.
For 3-plus years he has refused to sign the divorce papers. He is now contesting our prenuptial agreement, and I must go to court to protect what I have worked for and to which he contributed nothing in our 5-year marriage.
As negative as this sounds, I believe all people have good souls and I have seen his very positive and wonderful side. I truly wish him the best, but not at my expense. I am confused by our relationship, which has been very disappointing.
If we cannot trust in love, what can we trust in? How is the love in a relationship different from God's love and how can we know how to evaluate better the idea of "love", both human and Divine.
I suppose the answer lies somewhat with changing our expectations of each.
Many thanks.
God to Nancy O.:
Dear Nancy of My heart, you are right in everything you say to Me.
Of course, if you had not seen this man's positive and wonderful side, you never would have married him. I know that. And you are right that everyone has within them the purity of soul that you possess. That is a given.
But that truth does not obligate you to anyone. You are not responsible for how someone else chooses to act. And you do not have to put up with it. If you have to go to court, you have to go to court. This was not your choice.
You do well to sincerely wish this man Godspeed. And you are quite right — not at your expense.
Dear Nancy, you merely want to be done and move on without his interference and his attempts to pull you down or back. He has been a heavy burden hanging over you for the past eight or so years. And that is what he likes.
He does not want to let you go. It seems he will do anything to keep some semblance of control over you. To him, control is connection. He would like you to be on his string that he can pull up and down at his whim. Had he chosen to leave you, this would be a different playing-out, dear Nancy.
It is almost over now, and you will have relief. And you will be done, and you will be able to breathe freely.
I am sorry that your heart and life were in turmoil. I am sorry you have not had the marriage and love that you wanted and merit.
Before I go on to respond to your questions, I would like to comment on what you said about other people not understanding another's dilemmas. That is not accurate. There is not one, not one, Heavenreader here whose heart is not going out to you.
Compassionate honesty is always respected. I mean by compassionate, that you are not yelling and screaming and calling names. You are speaking your heart. My children hold this in high regard, especially because it is not amply found on earth. Your honesty helps them to be honest also. And everyone, I believe, has been entangled in some mess with someone that was not of their making.
And what difference does it make that your name is known? What does it matter? Tell Me, what do you have to hide? What have you done wrong? Being a vulnerable human being who made some choices you regret? You carry no shame, Nancy.
In regard to expecting from life or another, expectation is a form of control. Expect, and you set yourself up. Expecting is not being. It is ordering events. It is setting up conditions. It is saying something should or has to be the way you think. To not expect is a hard thing for My children to do or not do.
The world has not only told you to expect. It has told you what to expect.
This marriage you are trying to end was not the way you thought and it was not what you could live within, and, yet, Nancy, We cannot say that it was a mistake. Let that sink in. We cannot say that it was a mistake.
Some would say it is karma. Some would say it was a lesson. Some would say it was growth. And who can say whose growth it was for, or why?
I would say it was something that was and now is not. It was an interlude. And now you have moved to another space.
I do not know how to tell My children how to choose whom to marry and whom not. If I were to pick out mates for you, you might have reasons why you think not. "Not him," you'd say, "he's too short."
It has been said many times and many ways: Love yourself first. Loving yourself first is the same as loving Me. A good marriage is living with someone. That's all. And some people are easier to live with than others. And some people can accept more or less than others.
In loving Me, you are assured of love returned. You are merely sharing with Me what I have given to you. Fat or thin, toothy or toothless, wise or unwise, I love you, no less, no more, because there is no less to My love. My love does not depend on your living up to something. I do not even expect your love, but I know it is there and will be revealed more.
All the things in the world that matter do not matter. You think they matter.
Great love is not great drama.
Do not rely on another human being for giving you love. It is too much to ask of another. Just let yourself love. Don't hurry. Don't need it. Be it, which is the truth of existence.
At some time, Nancy, your love for Me will meet another's love for Me, and the two of you will be in love with Me together.
Divine love is the only love there is.
Humans often take that which is not love and call it that.
My blessings are on you, dear Nancy. I will be with you in court, and you need have no fear. I am taking care of you, and all is well. Let it be.
* * *
Katrina to Gloria in regard to yesterday's HEAVEN:
Katrina:
Oh, Gloria, how beautiful. This from Mother Divine speaks straight to my heart. A new place to see from, accept from, to be coming from. How exciting is that?! Thank you, Gloria, God, Mother Divine, and all who seek, accept, and give for all our benefit and enlightenment. Thank you, Heaven.
God:
Gratitude is one of the most beautiful gifts given to Me, Katrina. Graciously, I accept.