Diane to God:
Dear God, I keep holding onto Molly's physical death and feeling guilt and pain, sadness and fear. I tried to do everything I could to make her physical life comfortable, and I feel like I have failed in her last days of sickness and death.
My husband, Rod, keeps remembering how she stuck her finger down her throat, trying to get more air. I fear that she suffered, and that I should have done something more or something different.
I know You said her time of death would have been the same no matter what I did, but now I am beating myself up for not doing it right. Please help me. I love You very much.
God to Diane:
Dear Diane, you knew Molly so much in the physical. Your hands took care of her. You filled her every need. It is not surprising that you miss her with all your heart.
You know, blaming yourself gives you great opportunity to remember Molly. What exquisite pain you feel at the thought of her little body. How can you stop thinking of Molly when plagued with guilt? Guilt seems honorable, so you have a good excuse to frame your thoughts of her around it. But guilt is of the ego, Diane. It certainly is not of Me.
You think it is tragedy that Molly left her body.
You think her life was cut short.
Her life lasted as long as it was supposed to. This life of hers on earth had a beginning, middle, and an end. It was her life. You contributed to her life, not her death. And she did not suffer.
Your body gave birth to her, Diane, but your body did not give her life. It is I who gave her life. I breathed life into her body. It is presumptuous to think that you could take that breath away anymore than you could give it.
You feel guilt that your life is easier now.
Do you really think you should be punished? If you do, keep on punishing yourself. If you don't, stop now.
Don't weep for Molly, dear Diane. She flies free. The death of the body is required for that. Would you really deny or delay her freedom? Not for her, you wouldn't. Perhaps for yourself.
Now, here is what I would like you to do.
Write Molly a letter. Pour your heart out to her. Tell her everything. Tell her all. Then listen to the impulses of her response. You will hear her answers. They are hers, not yours. If her response is not clear to you, answer yourself as she would. You know how she would answer.
Guilt is not honorable, dear Diane. It does not make you more worthy, nor does it make you less. It's just a waste of your talent.
Do you not think that the mother of Molly deserves freedom and joy? You are still Molly's mother.
At the same time, Diane, My child, do not ask too much of yourself. Cry your tears, and then cry them again. And, yes, your tears do purify the world.
And tell Rod that you both loved that gift of Mine named Molly Rose, and that you love her still. Feelings of guilt do not make your love more or stronger. You are worthy enough without guilt. There is no blame.
Honor Molly by honoring yourselves.
Her sweet soul wills for you to regain happiness.
Will you not make up with yourself, forgive yourself for not getting her to the hospital sooner, even though the outcome would have been the same? Still, you need to forgive yourself.
Grief will not always hold you captive. It will go its course.
Christ, Mary, and I give you Our full blessings, and accept yours, for you do bless Us, Diane.
See what comes of this letter you write and let Me know.
Love, Your God in Heaven and on Earth
Gloria:
Dear God, again, after Diane's questions and Your answers, I feel superficial to bring up my questions. And this isn't even a question. It's an observation.
Your style seems to change depending on the person You're talking to. For instance, Kathy and Tina had similar situations. Your answers to both were the same — in effect, to live life instead of stewing about it. And, yet, it seems to me that with Kathy, You are light and teasing sort of. With Tina, you are more serious. But always loving, of course.
God:
That is My strength.
And with you, Gloria, I am sometimes light and sometimes serious. But I am always serious! And I am always light!
I must admit that sometimes it is hard for Me to keep a straight face, as it were, for I know that all the fussing My children do is for nothing. It's just for the sake of fussing. I know what happens next. And, in truth, you do too.
The fussing is a way to pass the time. You put in some drama. You see yourselves tied to the train tracks, and a train coming. You want a hero to untie you fast! But all the time you just thought you were tied to the tracks. Be your own hero. Rescue yourself!
Gloria:
Dear God, my mind was meandering the other day, and I asked myself: If I had to give a one-word answer for what Heavenletters has taught me, what would I say?
And I answered: Honesty.
Then I asked: What are three words to answer what Heavenletters has taught me?
I answered: Honesty, kindness…
I knew the third one would be love, but honesty and kindness are two things I have conscious control over. Whatever I may be feeling, I can be honest or kind. But I cannot love on demand. Love has to come of itself.
God:
This brings out the point that love is not an action. Love is not something you do. Love is your pure being when aught else is out of the way.
You may hug a child. That may be evidence of love, but it is not love itself.
You are right. Love can only be. It can't do.
Gloria:
And the same with faith. It can't be faked.
God:
It can be faked, but then it is not faith. Faith also doesn't do. It is.
Gloria:
So what is the third answer?
God:
Openness.
Openness allows you to listen. That is how you learn. By listening. You let something in.
Openness is another way of saying to be neutral. Openness is non-control. Closing is control. Closing is not letting something in.
Be open to change. And that means letting go of the past. Let go of it, and it is undone.
And you are left with pure being.
Gloria:
Is holding onto the past the same as ego?
God:
It is the same as ignorance.
You can say the same as ego. Ego holds on to the past. Ego tries to prove something true that is non-existent, therefore, false. Fortunately, you are not your ego. You are pure being.