Diane to Gloria:
Dear Gloria, this morning, the Sunday before Thanksgiving, Molly died. She had been congested for three days, and I thought she was going to be all right, but last night I could see she was in trouble and took her to the hospital. She died at about four this morning.
I used to call her Angel, and now she is really my angel.
I have to tell you how much Heavenletters and all the Heavenreaders mean to me and how they have helped me grow in my love and faith in God. I am so grateful.
I have some questions for God, if you would be so kind as to ask for me.
Diane to God:
Dear Heavenly Father, I know my little girl is in Your care and that you are taking care of her. I know that she is in Heaven with you. I am grateful to You for the the time she spent with us.
Although I can say it was her time to go, I cannot help wondering, dear God, if we had taken her to the hospital sooner, would it have made a difference?
She has left a big space in our family's life. What do we do now? What do I do now? Cry, I know, until we don't have to any more.
Thank You for Your love and for taking care of Molly.
God to Diane:
My treasure Molly is indeed here with Me. She would dry your tears if she could and take your pain away.
Tears are your safety valve, dear daughter. Let your grief cry itself out. The sadness is not for Molly. You know that. But that is all right, for you still believe in loss. I do know and understand how important the physical dimension becomes for My children. You have no need to deny it or push it away.
It is not just anyone that I entrusted Molly with. Take these words to your heart. You fulfilled Molly's needs perfectly. You were her angel, Diane.
Her stay on earth this round was finished. There was nothing you could do about it. You do not have control of the time the soul leaves the body. That was between Molly and Me. I do not say that to give you comfort, although I wish to give you comfort. I tell you that because that is the truth of it. I tell you only truth. I can do nothing else.
Man on earth thinks he has control of life and death. He thinks he creates the child, but he does not. The child is created through you, much as Godwriting comes through you. You were the vessel for her life on earth and not the consigner nor controller of it. You cannot consign the creation of the life of a child on earth any more than you can consign the end of a life on earth. It is not in your hands. It is not your perogative. It is not your choice. It is not your doing.
Dear Diane, if you had taken beloved Molly to the hospital sooner, the moment of her entry into Heaven would have been the same. And you would be thinking that maybe if you had not taken Molly to the hospital, she would still be in her body. Do you understand me?
It is an ego thing to take the responsibility for the beginning or ending of a human life.
Your guilt for Molly is not new, Diane. You held yourself responsible for everything. After all, it was in your womb that her physical existence began. But, dearest Diane, even in your womb, it was Molly's life and not yours. Molly led the life she was to live. Was there a better way that she could have taught love?
Molly's life on earth was like the ringing of a dainty silver bell. That bell still rings and is heard. The sound of her rings out and stirs hearts and keeps ringing from one heart to another. It is an eternal sound, this ringing of a dainty silver bell. All were blessed to hear it. And you heard it the most.
Molly has not left you. Her physical form has left you. You do not have her less than you ever had her, for she was always her own. And Mine.
Your assignment now is to nurture yourself. Treat yourself as you treated Molly. What would give you some happiness now, that is your question.
Have no guilt for new freed time for yourself and your little sons and your bereft husband. As you go, so goes your household, Diane. I do not talk pretending here. I do not talk bravery. I talk goodness to yourself.
If Molly were in school, and you had a bank of time, what might you do with it? Would you meet a friend for coffee and pastry? Would you sit and read a book? Would you poke around the stores? Work in the garden? Soak in the tub? Bake brownies? Maybe you will spend one day a week with children who were not so fortunate with love as was Molly.
Well, Molly is in school, a special angel school, and you are in another. You are in a school that allows you to pick your own curriculum. You will find your way to it, Diane.
You will fill your life with love that expands and extends. I give you My love, My total love, and I tell you to do with it as you will. That is your tribute to Molly and your continuation of her great love.
All is well.