Before she received yesterday's Heavenletter…
Kerry to God:
Dear God, I have crashed into a place of melancholy as the holidays approach. I really thought this "numbing" out of emotions was not going to hit me right between the eyes this year. I have felt such sweet God-elation in knowing YOU, dear God, and knowing I am not alone in my sorrow. However, it feels as if my body and soul are feeling the pain of birth and loss that literally takes my breath away. My ego seems to take me to dark, guilt-ridden and shameful places even in my dreams. I am sticking with my prayers and recognizing this pattern, but it still feels so empty!
My physical self is manifesting this stress as my blood pressure is up, and I have more difficulty calming myself in meditation and prayer. I am looking to You to gently guide me through this confusing and difficult time called "The Holidays." I do not feel like celebrating anything and resent the expectations put upon me by the outside world. Am I in denial, God? Is there something I should be "doing" to make this transition easier and more joyous?
My gratitude is great, and I Love You with all my Heart. I just feel like I am going backwards right now!
Right on the heels of that came this second email. — Gloria
Kerry to Gloria:
Well! I just had my mind blown all over the page! I was sitting here writing my question to God in to the computer (and had just sent it!) when your communication with Karen and God came through the internet and spoke right to me as well! It never ceases to amaze me, the giant cord that connects us! I was guided to this computer very early this morning, as it looks like you were too. I was fretting about my blood pressure, too, and various health concerns and FEAR ! During the night, as I tossed and turned, in and out of dreams of negative and sad memories, I heard very loudly, more than once: "You are my beloved, You are blessed and Loved and Healed!" I thank Dear Karen for "yelling" at you. She got through loud and clear to me also! I hope your day is glorious, dear friend. I am smiling!
Gloria:
Is there more You would like to say to Kerry?
God:
Yes, I bless her.
Gloria:
Dear God, since Karen's email of yesterday, it occurs to me that it isn't so much that I have to banish my fears. It's more like there isn't anything to fear. All the fears are made up.
I also thought that I have to surrender my logic. I wasn't aware that I was this much into my intellect. I have to surrender making sense because nothing makes sense! Nothing next to the truth that You are, that is. All else is gibberish.
I have literally been messed up. Everything, or almost everything, I have been taught to believe is inaccurate. It's like if I had grown up in Nazi Germany, I would have been indoctrinated one way. In U.S., it's been another. In a primitive island, it would be another. And none of it means anything. Only You mean. The rest is brainwash.
In a primitive land, the people may wear paint. In Germany, uniforms. In U.S., style, but all clothes are uniforms. All society is like a uniform, and one is as integral as another, which means, not at all, or not much. Something designed by man, that's all.
Our morals, our standards, our housing, our everything — not one is the True. Only You are the True.
I was wondering what high blood pressure is. It is resistance. Pressure comes from something being closed, so the hot air builds up. I am hot air. I don't know anything. What is I resist? That everything is fine? That there is a God, and He or She is You?
I know a woman named Candace. She mistakenly took an overdose of an allergy medicine and had a near-death experience. When she came out of her coma, she didn't remember anything. She had to learn everything all over again. She had to learn what Christmas was etc. All her memory was erased, but there was nothing between her and You. Full communication with you was what she had. It was like looking in a mirror for her; You were always just there.
So what stands between you and Me is all my ideas, most of my ideas, and if I could just be innocent, I would know only You.
God:
You would know only Me.
Gloria:
Karen asked me to ask You about her knee which has suddenly swollen and hurts terribly. Unlike me, she asks without fear, dear God.
God:
This is from her kidneys. Toxins centered in her knee.
Karen wants to know what on the higher plane caused this, what event in past times is now playing out. This is a healing from the past, and it will subside. This is others' pain that Karen has taken on.
Tell her that now she does not have to take on so much for others. She has freedom. She is freed from the past. I free her. She can accept that and alter the course of her life.
The knee is a pivotal spot. It is an anchor that yet bends. Consider the knee as a planet in the firmament, and it revolves differently now.
You do not know what this all means, but Karen will.
Tell her to put her hands on her knee and comfort it. Let it rest as much as possible.
Remind her that the world is my responsibility, and hers is joy. She works for Me, and I accomplish her work. She is free to sit with her leg up. She is free.
Gloria:
Dear God, I emailed Karen yesterday that my fear was not so much of dying as of having a stroke. She wrote back:
"When you do accept all is possible of life…even having a stroke and being disabled…then it won't matter will it? So there you go."
So accepting is the opposite of controlling?
God:
Acceptance is living life as it comes. You are still you.
All that occurs is encouragement to know Me. All is a boost.
The same with aging. An opportunity to grow closer to Me.
You have been taught that illness and aging are terrible things. That is because there is so much emphasis on the physical. Imagine a world set in a time and a land where status quo was looked down on, and change looked at as a blessing.
All that happens is merely a change in scenery. You fear change. To you it holds interminable terrors, but it is nothing. Drama is not of Heaven. Unfolding is.
Gloria:
God, I know that illness, fear, and pain are subjects that could go on forever, and are not ones I really wish to deal with.
God:
I know.
Gloria:
I also am not keen on asking You health questions. I feel too much responsibility.
God:
Let Me decide that, not you. Responsibility is Mine, not yours.
Look at pictures of flowers, dear one, and remember that it is flowers I give you.
Mother Divine:
You have a tendency to compartmentalize God. You put him in boxes. Start thinking of Him as One Whole.
Consider Him as a hat on which all decorations are pinned. All are part of the hat. Do not focus on one embellishment of the hat. Remember it is a hat. Fringe is part of the hat. It is not the hat.
Keep your eye on God, Gloria, and remember that He is All That Is. You are a tassel on His hat. Just go along with the hat wherever it takes you. Bounce along.