Gloria:
Dearest God, what would You like to tell us at 2:30 a.m. this morning?
God:
About giving love. You can only give what you think you have.
Gloria:
What do I do when I don't feel love, God?
God:
If you're not feeling love, you're feeling fear and anger.
Gloria:
Yes.
God:
What is it you wish to control? If you wish to control someone or something, you are not taking the moment to be with Me.
When you do not feel love, reconnoiter with Me.
What do you do when your car is low on gas? You fill it up.
We talked a long while ago of how you give My love, not yours.
My love you don't own. It costs you nothing. You don't wear yourself away when you give My love.
My love is constant.
My love is the cream on top, and more keeps rising. In fact, My love is all cream. My love is rich.
Your love is frantic and maybe a little watery.
Perhaps, instead of saying, as I did yesterday, that you find your own love to give, perhaps it is wiser to say to let your attention go from yourself to another.
And I am the interim step.
Whenever you feel yourself short of cash, you go to the bank.
Come to Me, and take out some love to spend.
Gloria:
When Karen said yesterday that one of those ladies was in the habit of being lost because she thinks that is how she gets love, I realized that I have done that a lot.
But, God, someone who is authoritative and definite is also looking for love.
God:
My children do a lot of that, asking for love, demanding. Surrounded by love, My children hunt for it, look madly for signs of it when it is all right there.
There is nothing but love, if truth be known.
Still yourself enough to notice.
When love is too hard an issue for you, not only think of Me, but think of how to act for Me. Ask, "What would God like now? What little thing can I do for Him right now?"
Ask Me to shower this other person with love. Ask Me to pour buckets of love on this person. Much will spill on you.
Love is the very air you breathe, so breathe love, in and out.
You know you don't own the air.
Now I suggest you go back to sleep, and you will wake with love in your heart rather than illusion of emptiness.
Later…
Gloria:
Dear God, yesterday You made control so clear, and yet, here I am again.
Although I can be helpful as well as helpless, I believe I have thought that the opposite of helpless is controlling. But when I feel helpless is when I try to control!
What does a person do, dear God, when someone close doesn't do something that is obvious to do?
God:
What other people do or don't do is not your business, dear Gloria. And that includes your daughter.
Everyone has to learn this. All have to learn this especially with those they consider theirs. No one is yours. Lauren is Mine.
Yes, it is easier to talk about neutrality than to allow it.
Gloria:
God, it takes all my control not to yell about this particular thing. Somehow I have to get my mind off it without exercising control. I have to get to a place within me without forcing, and I don't know how to.
God:
Yes, you do know, dear Gloria. You turn it over to Me. You turn your daughter over to Me. That is how you let go without gritting your teeth.
When you know your daughter is in My hands, you can release her. Release her, and your frantic inner and outer control disappear, and then Lauren is free to do what is optimal for her.
When you will so much, you are controlling. When you desire so much, you are controlling, and control is debilitating and weakening.
When you are strong, you do not think of controlling.
Be strong with Me. Be strong in your faith in Me, and faith in your daughter, and faith in yourself to be a free agent, unchained to another.
You can chain yourself to earth or be free in Heaven. There are no chains in Heaven.
Chains are an earth thing.
Control is discomfort.
When you turn situations and people over to Me, you perceive differently. With that difference in perception, a whole new configuration of energy takes place. That is what release is.
You cannot deliberately release control because deliberate is control.
But you can free another.
You can free yourself.
You can ask Me to free you.
Ask Me: "Dear God, please free me right away from my perceived need to control. Please help me to be neutral, to care without anguish, to let life and my daughter be. Please take fear away from me."
Now you come to the basis of control. All that fear. And what is fear but inattention on Me?
Attend to Me, Gloria. Talk to Me about your fears, not to your daughter.
Fears you do not have to share.
Fears you look at in the face and laugh them away.
Fears are little booby traps to keep your attention from Me. You cannot fear and be looking at Me at the same time. You cannot look at Me and fear.
Like pain, you can bless fear, for they are the same.
Enough fear/pain, and you look for Me. Last resort God.
Search for Me and not outcomes.
Let your daughter look for work. You look for Me.
Be steady with Me.
Occupy your mind with Me. What you occupy your mind with grows. You would much rather grow Me than fear.
When fear strikes your heart, consider it a bell that summons you to vespers.
When fear clutches your heart, it calls you to Me.
Fear is only one way to come to Me. It is not the only way. Joy and love also bring you to recognition of Me.
Choose joy, not fear. Would you choose something or nothing? Fear is nothing. I am everything. I am true. Fear is false.
There is no need for fear.
Sometimes you think fear keeps woe away. But fear is woe itself.
Let Me, not fear, overcome you.
Let the sun cast out the shadow.
Let My light shine on you.
If a room is dark, turn on the light. I am the light.
Be drawn to light, not fear.
Your eyes can adjust to My light.
Gloria:
God, will there ever be a time when I experience You with Me always and not fall back into my old ways?
God:
Yes.
You are practicing that now. You are practicing acceptance of Me. You do not have full awareness of My constant love and presence when you distract yourself from it. You deny Me your recognition. Deny Me no longer.
Say:
"Here, God, am I. Here is my life. I offer it to You. By myself, I get frantic. With You, I get peace. I choose Your grandness over my smallness. I choose Your vision over mine. I choose Your joy over my sorrow. I choose light over dark. I choose love over worry. I choose You.
"I know You chose me a long time ago and that You never let me go for one minute. Now I must simply notice You. Help me to notice You. Help me to give up my frustration and control and the fears that prompt them. Help me disband my fears and give them to You.
"I would rather give You a better gift than my fears, but I know whatever I give to You, You transform into Your love. No, You do not see the fear to transform it. Fear just backs away from You altogether and never reaches You.
"By giving You my fears, I transform fear into love. You cannot take my fears because they are nothing, and do not exist except in my mind.
"So I shed them when I give them to You.
"So, dear God, please take all my fears away and leave me the wholeness You created me from in the depths of Your love.
"From love I came, and to love I return.
"Thank You for my life and my learning, and may I learn You quickly and totally, My God, so that I can be neutral and unattached and, therefore, love like You do, just by being.
"I release myself to You, dear God. I release preventing myself from Your love. I release any boundaries I have to accepting Your love.
"I open my heart to You, and enclose mine in Yours, so that I will know only truth and radiate only it.
"I don't want what I think I must have, dear God. I want You and what You have, what You are, what You give. Let me move in Your grace and Your strength.
"Let me give myself up to You that I may bask in Your light. Let me read Your mind and Your heart so that I may carry Your message to the world.
"Let me be Your agent. Let me be Your Will, dear Father, my dear God.
"Let me be a boon to You.
"Let me be Your microphone.
"Let me be Your echo.
"Let me be Your vibration.
"Help me to let others be. Help me to give my child the freedom You give to me.
"Help me to see as You see.
"Help me to be more than I presently exhibit.
"Help me to know myself as You know me. Help me to be Your perfect flower of truth.
"Help me, dear God, help me."