Gloria to Heavenreaders:
Update on Ginger: We took her to her holistic vet here, Dr. Pollak (www.healthyvet.com). Her diabetes is under control, and she is in good health. He gave her something to strengthen her bladder. Thank you for all your kind wishes for Ginger!
Gloria to God:
Dear God, a friend of Caroline's came back from India with an herb that is supposed to heal diabetes. Caroline will try to track some down for Ginger.
As I fell asleep last night, I had the thought that You would have made a cure for everything in creation.
God:
Yes.
Gloria:
But You did not create illness?
God:
The accumulated thoughts of man make illness.
Gloria:
Yet you created cures.
God:
Everything in creation wants to serve man.
Gloria:
Dear God, I've been going along on top of the world, and last night and this morning I feel I have crashed. I am filled with anxiety. I have much to turn over to You. All of a sudden, it seems like I don't know how.
God:
Turn to Me for help first before you turn over pieces of your life to Me. Turn to Me and then turn over. Pick up what you see as pieces and grant them to Me.
What is there that I cannot take care of? I can certainly take care of you and any anxious mood you have generated.
You are just like everyone else, Gloria. My typist gets jumpy. The switchboard of Heaven gets jangled.
Of course, you don't have to. But you can if you want to.
Notice that all your excuses for feeling anxious are excuses. What you are feeling is a distance between Us, and that felt distance is as untrue as your excuses.
I suggest you meditate, and We'll talk more after. Don't worry, I am with you.
Gloria:
God, I started to meditate, and then I thought of something I must tell you.
I wonder if I have felt that in serving You, I am somehow exempt from challenges, like, in my mind, I thought You and I had a deal. I was not conscious of that, but maybe I thought I was above all the things people go through. Like, because of HEAVEN, you had put an X on my forehead to spare me any difficulty in the future.
God:
I have. I have put an X on everyone's forehead.
Now, really, meditate, and I will soothe your heart.
Gloria:
Is there an herb to take for anxiety?
God:
Yes. It is called My Name.
Gloria:
God, in America we seem to look for a pill to fix everything.
God:
Look for Me.
Gloria:
There is a woman named Om Shiva who realized that it is the vibration of an herb that heals, not the herb itself, and that that vibration can be enlivened without the herb itself.
God:
The vibration of love.
Gloria:
Yes.
It occurs to me that I have been listening to my old thinking that, if I am not worrying, I must be in a fool's paradise, as if worrying is grounding, like it's a duty sort of, almost a superstition that it will protect me and prevent future troubles.
God:
Or if you're already suffering, suffering will skip over you?
Gloria:
Oh, God, that's good. Or, if my head is already chopped off, I can't expect an axe to fall!
God:
You can have not even one scratch on you and still be excused from future ones. There is not an allotment of scratches reserved for you. You are not doomed. There is nothing that you see as good or bad that you must have.
Gloria:
You!
God:
You already have Me. If there were some way I could disappear — there is not — blessings would have been set in motion for you and reach you. Your well-being is assured.
Remind yourself that there is no virtue in suffering. It neither cures nor prevents.
These feelings of anxiety are a sure signal that your ego is having a good time punishing you.
What is self-doubt but ego? What is trembling? What is there that is not ego except the neutrality of pure love?
Anything you take personally as directed to you is ego brewing.
You spar with yourself. Do you think I won't provide for you? Do you think you have to provide for yourself?
Gloria:
I guess I do.
God:
Whom can you rely on more, yourself or Me?
I am the only thing you can rely on. That is not bad news, Gloria; that is good news.
Gloria:
Dear God, I don't even want to ask this question, but there are people who starve to death — where are You then?
God:
I am with them.
Gloria:
Did they choose to starve to death?
God:
They may have chosen it. They may have achieved it by default.
Gloria:
They had a starvation vibration?
God:
They may have had a vibration that called them to that. They may have made a date with it.
You see it as bad, Gloria. You judge it wrong. You judge it punishment. You judge it sin. It is none of those.
Look at it as a rising up. Look at it as a surrender. However it may seem to you, the body is a trifle. It is a turtle shell.
All your fears, all human fears, are for the body, that it will be hurt. You are not your body. Do not lay so much importance on the body. Live in it. Use it. Love it, but know it is not you.
Gloria:
I do seem to reach you best through writing, or feel You deeply and for sustained periods. Although I usually can feel You near me anytime I want, my mind goes off somewhere. In writing, my attention on You sustains itself. I don't want to stop. It becomes a conscious decision to get up and go about the so-called real life.
Tina said that writing makes the sweet time with You more real.
God:
All writing makes the illusion that something is permanent. It is written down. Therefore, it stays.
However, I am the only permanent.
And you are right that writing keeps your focus on Me. And, of course, it makes it possible for My words to be shared.
Gloria:
I realize that I have been slipping into valuing myself again based on input from outside. In this case, email. If I receive a bunch, I am loved. If there are none — even if a bunch came two hours ago! — I am not! No matter how wonderful the emails, and many are very wonderful, You soothe my inner heart and longing like no one else and nothing else can.
God:
Life will always remind you, My dear Gloria, to come back to Me.
Look to Me for your sustenance. Do not feed off others' energy. It's nice; it's fine, and enjoy My love through others, but remember Me and rely on Me. That is being neutral.
Gloria:
When a new subscription for Heaven comes in, I am so happy, but it's a widespreading happiness at receiving a gift for You. It is not mine at all, and that feels very good.
God:
I bless you and keep you, and I am all you need. Everything else is frosting.