Gloria to God:
My daughter hasn't written down her question, but she's been speaking it the past few days. And I ask it now with her permission.
She lives spirituality. She doesn't have the judgment things I do. She sees the big picture and the heart of a person and truly doesn't get caught up in the little, often physical, things that irritate me. She laughs a lot and is fun to be around. She is an incredibly loving person, though not enough to herself.
She became a teacher of meditation at thirteen. She got me through the three-month training, and she continued to be a spiritual guide to me over the years. She understands things that I don't, and she has put many things in perspective for me.
Even so, when she was a little girl, and I made a wonderful whole wheat bread, she wanted white Wonder bread like all the other kids. She would say, "I just want to be a regular girl."
Given a choice between meeting with the Ask God Continuing Ed group tomorrow and going to Iowa City with friends, she opted for her friends and Iowa City. She doesn't particularly want to discuss spiritual matters or be with people who do. She reads Heavenletters daily, and she admires Your wisdom. She loves You and wants You, dear God, but I guess her question, her confession, comes down to this: She wants the relative more.
God:
Lauren is truthful, and she is not alone. Who would not grab a chocolate bonbon before kneeling to Me? Not in the final analysis, but in the moment of popping the candy into their mouth?
From the outside, My children have to be very careful about whom they call spiritual or nonspiritual. Someone who appears far from spiritual may be sitting right in My arms. Others, considered highly spiritual, may not be using their connection to Me.
There are many actors in the world. Go to a movie, and you may cry over the sincerity of an actor who is a rake who is playing the part of a saint.
My children themselves may not know where they are on the spiritual scale, if there were a scale.
Lauren lives her truth. She is still seeking herself and Me — they go hand-in-hand, and she may well find me in Iowa City or at a football game.
She does not separate Me from life. She does not try to assume, or pretend to assume, a role of an ascetic or seeker, but seeker she is nevertheless.
Tell Lauren it is fine to be who she is. One does not have to go to church or an ashram to find Me. I come from within and not from the outside.
At the same time, as My children know and find out again and again, the trappings of the world, as enjoyable as they may be, as much as they may hold Me, are not the whole of Me.
Lauren will find herself within herself. There is some attempt to escape herself and, therefore, Me, and this keeps her off-center.
But let Me confirm that honesty is the path to Me, and Lauren is better off partying in truth than on her knees to Me in sufferance and pretense.
Let Me, here and now, once and for all, proclaim to each of you that it is okay, fine, good, for you to be who you are. It is just that, sometimes, often, you do not know who you are.
Carry with you in a corner of your mind, or heart, that you are My divine child, and you are worthy of My Kingdom, whether you are on a sports field or on your knees in prayer.
It is interesting how Lauren has this vague sense that she is playing hooky by enjoyment of the relative, and you, Gloria, find your pleasure most with Me, alone with Me, or talking about Me.
It is not for you to become more Lauren any more than it is for Lauren to become more you.
To Lauren, let Me say, I am not so hard as you think! I do not deny you, restrict you, corral you.
It is freedom I offer you. At present, you are not free. Whatever abandon you may feel, it is not freedom.
In your playing, enrich yourself as well as others. Follow your heart of love and not your heart of fear.
I will help you have all the good you desire. No one but I can give it all to you. You and I.
In the arena of life, take Me with you. I am your Great Friend, and I do not criticize you.
I long for your good, just as your mother does. Unlike your mother, I do not worry over you. I will cheer you on and guide you, as you ask. I will guide and cheer you regardless, but I like to be asked. I like My children to talk to Me and make Me part of their lives. I don't have to be your whole life, Lauren.
You do not have to choose fun or Me. Choose both.
Choose Me, and have fun. I give you permission to have fun. You have My permission to have fun. You always had My permission.
Give yourself permission to love yourself and Me. I won't take up much room or time. Do you think you can let Me in with you, let Me go with you? Let Me be the stamp on your hand that lets you in to the event? With My stamp on your hand, you will greater entry everywhere.
You don't need to make a big thing of Me, Lauren, but let Me make a big thing of you. Let Me love you and cherish you and accompany you. That is My Will, and it is what I ask of you.
Nod Yes if you can. If you cannot right now, consider My proposition again at another time when it is easy to say Yes.
My love follows you no matter what, and that is what you need to know.
Do write Me sometime. Do let Heavenreaders know what's going on with you.
You have asked a questions here that resonates with everyone. You have opened up a creaky door, Lauren. You opened it up for everyone. Maybe just a crack, but opened nevertheless. And others will follow you through it.
Gloria:
Thank You, dear God. On the subject of outward appearance of spirituality, I had lunch yesterday with a girlfriend who has been going on spiritual retreats in Colorado. There was a man at the last one who had been a terrorist and in prison when he met my girlfriend's spiritual leader and was transformed and is now a simple loving person. I accept that this man was transformed, God, but I believe You did it through this spiritual leader, and the man himself, too, of course.
But something my friend said bothered me, and now it's clearer to me. My friend said something like, that when she looked into this former terrorist's eyes, there was such love and enlightenment in his eyes.
Is a look in the eyes an indication of enlightenment?
God:
Do you think so?
Gloria:
No. And yet Christ must have had that.
God:
There is no required look in the eyes. Enlightenment is not on the outside. Someone may have great eyes of love and be enlightened, or not. You have been known to fall in love with a couple pair of beautiful blue eyes that did not bear out their promise.
Perhaps if your friend had met this man in another context, she might not have picked out that attribute, or he revealed it.
Your friend looks for corroboration that she is on the right track.
Gloria:
I guess I am saying, too, that I sure don't have eyes of love like that. I have begged to see with Christ's eyes and Yours, and not my own picky ones, but I don't want the physical characteristics of my eyes, or anyone's, to be a label of something.
God:
The light that your friend saw in that man's eyes is visible in everyone's eyes. It is not an outward characteristic that singles anyone out.
The appearance of your eyes is not your goal. Forget about that.
Seek to love but not appearances. Appearances may or may not be true.
Gloria:
Mother Divine, would you like to comment now?
Mother Divine:
I think I will just peek into your eyes. They look fine to me!
Look within yourself to feel the truth of another, Gloria. What does another make you feel?
Gloria:
I have often been mistaken.
Mother Divine:
You were not listening to yourself. You were listening to speech and conduct of others. Listen inside you. What do you feel — comfort, clear, uncomfortable, vague? — that is what they are. Listen to those feelings within yourself and not what is said or how you want something to be.
You can even think of a person, and your heart will evoke their truth.
Gloria:
There is someone I thought of, and I feel uncertain. It leans to their being true, but I'm not certain.
Mother Divine:
He is uncertain. He is not sure.
Gloria:
How do I know that's not my uncertainty?
Mother Divine:
Think of God, and how do you feel?
Gloria:
Peace and calm and love and a kind of blankness.
Mother Divine:
Think of a rose, and what do you sense?
Gloria:
Sweetness, calm, love.
Mother Divine:
Where is your confusion then? We are not speaking of judgment here. We speak of listening to what your heart hears.
Your heart knows truth. It does not have to have proof or evidence. It just has to hear itself.
This awareness will help you to be less swayed by others. You want that, don't you?
Gloria:
Yes.
Mother Divine:
It will make you less dependent on the opinions of others.
Gloria:
The friend I had lunch with. Often I feel insecure with her, rocky sort of.
Mother Divine:
She feels rocky and unsure. You feel her uncertainty, regardless of her decisive manner.
This is a great insight for you. This will help you honor yourself more.
This technique will be good for Lauren to develop as well.
She can do this even with someone over the Internet. The person does not have to be in front of her.
In the morning when you write to God, you open a door and you don't know where that door will take you. You know it will be good beyond the door, but more than that is unknown and unguessed. This is what happens every time you ask God. Even when you know the question, you do not know the answer.
Now, this is where I will leave you today, at this juncture. I don't actually leave you, but I say you can stop writing now. God and I will be with you the day long, I, on one side, God, on the other, and arm-in-arm We skip along and enjoy the sights on the right and on the left and straight ahead.
Our love follows you and enters you, and you are well-prepared. Let's go.