Gloria:
Dear God, Nancy recently asked you about having greater income, a loan approved, a tenant, and to have more close friends. Now she is writing back and giving You her real questions. Here is her email:
Nancy to Gloria:
Dear Gloria, I printed out God's response so I could read it over and over. His words help me so much to clarify what I really want. I think that God knows me better than I know myself. He would say that is an understatement, I think!
I must say that, although deep inside I knew I would see my question and God's response in the Heavenletters, I was embarrassed when I did. I guess I feel that it was improper to ask God for what I did.
I want to tell you, Gloria, that I appreciate our great and intimate friendship, and I always have. I just wish that you lived a little closer so that I could see you more often. I can talk/write to you about anything, and I do, and then I find that everyone else on HEAVEN's subscription list hears about my trials and tribulations as well. I hope they are as non-judgmental as you are! And I really don't mind that everyone hears about my questions.
Now I want to respond to God's answer and His further questions of me.
Thank you for asking all these questions or non-questions for me. Blessings.
Now my answers to God:
Nancy to God:
Why are these questions so important to me? Generally, finances are not a concern for me. I am grateful for the abundance that I have. My husband worries that he will not have enough money when he retires, and then I feel guilty when I spend money on things that I want.
So this is what I would like to turn over to you. I would like the freedom to feel that I can take a pottery class without feeling guilty. I would like to know, when there is extra money, that I can spend it without the guilt. I turn over to You the guilt that I feel. Please help me with that. Please help my husband and me to arrive at a fair sharing of our resources.
That is the concern behind my desire for greater income, the loan and the tenant.
My desire for more intimate friends was when I wanted to go to a crafts fair and I thought I had no one to go with. I was pleased that Diane went with me. It was really a delightful afternoon, and I felt very close to her.
Actually I am very happy about the friends that I do have and am grateful for them. But I do want to be closer to You, God, and to know Your will for me. Thank You.
God to Nancy:
Dear Nancy, so your real request goes beyond what you had asked. Now you are chipping away at denial and coming to the truth of your question.
You feel your husband's money anxiety, and you want to be able to spend money without taking on his anxiety and without your own feelings of guilt.
One more question for you, dear Nancy: Before your marriage, did you have guilt feelings about spending money?
Whatever your answer may be, I ask you now: Why would anyone feel guilty about taking an innocent pottery class? You are not exactly taking food away from mouths of hungry children; nor are you exactly buying a bauble that you will toss way. And even if you were buying a bauble…
Before We go further, please know that you are a ground-breaker. You are bringing to light questions that need to be brought to light. You and Margaret have opened the door for questions that have no pretense. Now that you have opened the door, others will dare to follow.
You know, it is really not such a big thing to proclaim to the world and to Me: "I am a human being. I am muddled. I may not know what is really going on, but I know I hurt. Will You, please, God, help me?"
This is everyone's question.
When you can ask that question and let others see it, you come closer to surrender. Even coming closer to surrender is freeing. Coming this close to surrender removes enormous burdens, for the blinders My children put on and the stories they tell themselves take their toll.
The truth is never so bad as My children fear. And the pretense is never so good as they hope either.
Pretense weakens, and sooner or later it falters and falls apart. Life construes itself to make you look at truth.
All right, back to guilt.
Guilt comes from a sense of unworthiness. Guilt equals sense of unworth. There are no exceptions.
When you accept that you are My child created in My image, where can guilt be?
Would that your husband knew how to contribute to your sense of worth, Nancy. But, in any case, your worth comes from Me and not from another. You and I are the ones who restore your sense of worth. You and I.
Why your husband would have such deep feelings of unworth that he would make it difficult for you to enjoy fulfilling outlets is his question to ask.
Your question is: Why do I let my husband's tightness affect me so deeply?
The answer is you let your sense of worth be tied up in it.
Your question about fair sharing is apt. You are generous, Nancy, and you are happy when your husband buys what he wants no matter the cost, and then he seems to hold you back from lesser spending.
I can hear your thought now. You say: "He does not always hold me back." And then you feel guilty again, or more guilty, because he helped you to buy a kiln and all that, so how can you feel oppressed then without more guilt?
Many questions in marriage. You work. You bring in income. But even did you not, the question remains the same…
So, We come back to you, Nancy-of-the-Good-Heart. I will remove your burdens of guilt because you are My fair child. You do not need guilt. It profits no one, not you, not your husband.
Live in truth, Nancy, and honor yourself as well as others.
You also said previously that you need to ask Me for My help every day, or you will slip back into old ways of thinking. That is true, Nancy.
Ask Me every day to release your guilt and your resentment, for they go hand in hand. Every day, turn over your cares. Give Me your heart, and I will nourish it.
You slip closer to Me little by little, bit by bit.
Cry your tears, Nancy, for pain escapes with them. They wash out pretense and let Me in.
Nancy, you ask to be loved as you love. I am the only One you can ask that of. My love does not entangle and weave. My love is pure.
You be pure love, Nancy, and love yourself. Others will love themselves more as well. Your husband will love himself more.