Gloria to God:
Dear God, yesterday Karen suggested that I ask You to teach Me how to surrender to You. During the day I asked several times mentally, and Your answer each time was the same: First forgive yourself.
This morning in an email from Karen, among other beautiful things, she said, "You have to forgive yourself."
For what must I forgive myself, dear God? For caring and hanging on so tight?
God:
Yes. For being upset, angry, bewildered, forlorn. For taking things personally.
Gloria:
God, I will not ever ever let anyone become so dear to me again. They either don't want me anymore, or they die.
God:
Come closer to Me, Gloria. That is the whole thing.
Gloria:
Did You orchestrate this, that I am supposed to stop loving this person?
God:
Not stop loving. Stop holding on. Love and set free. You do not need this person. You need no one person. You need Me. And I need you.
Truly, Gloria, would you choose attachment to your friend over Me? Think.
Gloria:
No.
God:
But that is what you are doing! You are saying, "I have to have this relationship. I can't live without it."
Now, Gloria, I know you are unhappy because something didn't turn out the way you wanted and assumed.
Gloria:
I never asked for this. I never expected it. I never even dreamed of it. But then it was given to me, and now it's pulled away.
God:
But you came to expect that all would continue as before.
Your life and value are not dependent on anyone outside you.
If this is a hard lesson for you, it is because you make it hard.
You think you are worthless if this person disengages from you. Do you really think your value comes from anywhere outside you?
Gloria, you cannot quit. So continue with grace. That is what surrender is, going on anyway good-naturedly.
Surrender or not, nothing is changed. You can stumble and drag your feet, but you are going forward in any case. Come with Me in good grace.
Resisting this change is what produces your pain. Why not the strength of your resistance into moving forward? Whoosh.
You are balking.
This is your strength inverted.
This is your saying, "I will not, God. I cannot."
How about loving this change? How about setting yourself free? How about being a good sport? How about joining Me?
Pick up your feet, and come with Me. You will be in good company, and your friend will be with Us also.
Will you believe Me when I tell you no other person is your strength?
I am your strength, Gloria. Turn to Me.
This person has a heart as tender as yours. Tenderer. Would you not make it easier for their heart?
Gloria:
I have thought of that. But they are already neutral, dear God.
God:
Can you forgive that? Can you forgive your friend for giving complete confidence to Me?
This is what you must do.
Consider surrender as making an offering. In this case, you take your friend's heart and offer it to Me. Say:
"This heart is Yours, dear God. It belongs to You. I know You treasure this heart, and that You are all it needs.
"And now I give You my heart also. I place it on your altar, and I leave it for You to do with as You will.
"You will cure my heart. Of myself, I cannot. Please soften it and mold it to be like Yours. Keep it for as long as You like. When You return it to me, I will know that it is Yours within me, and that it can only belong to You and no other.
"Like the sun, it can shine on others, but I will never give away what belongs to You except in Your name.
"Your heart in me knows how to love without attachment. It knows how because it only knows giving, not having.
"It gives freedom to other hearts; it never steals another's in the first place. It shines love."
Gloria, will You work with Me. Will you quit trying to steer the horse of life? Quit fighting. Give up your sovereignty.
It never was yours. The throne is Mine. I am capable of it. You are not. The ego in you is not.
Ego can't win. Surrender your ego to Me. Hand it over.
Picture this little wormy buggy thing on a tray, and deliver it to a fire. It goes up in smoke and will not bother you again.
Will you also consider the possibility that a worthy person does not have to suffer?
Do you think leaving the past behind is unworthy?
Let go of everything. Let go of it in your heart. There is nothing your heart has to hold but Me. And that is all it can hold.
You cannot keep your friend there. You cannot keep Me out.
Love your friend by freeing her. She is already free, and that hurts you. Be releasing her to Me, you free yourself.
Think of what free means. It means no chains. No inhibitors. No regrets. No excruciating bonds.
Freedom means loving Me and flying away with Me and seeing from the heighths I do.
Come, take a look.
Leave the sobbing ego behind, and come here with Me.
See a different perspective.
Come see, and laugh.
Come laugh with Me.
Come where laughter is.
Come where I am.
Thank you for coming with Me.
Now I will land in your heart and you will love the earth life.
Look, people come in and out of it.
All the drama.
What stories to tell.
What souls to catch.
What love to give and not keep.
Free your heart from your friend's, and you two will fly as two birds coming to Me.
You do not need to piggyback.
You are your own being.
You are My child. You are child of My heart, and We free all hearts and bind none, including your own.