Gloria to God:
Dear God, wanting to be more connected to You and being connected to you are two different things. Wanting to see the world differently isn't the same as seeing it so. How do we get from wanting to seeing, and then doing?
God:
Intent goes a long way. Not that you will intend what you want someday, but right now. At this moment, desire a shift in your awareness. Have that desire, and many opportunities will come your way. Ask and ye shall receive.
Gloria:
Dear God, I was going to ask You about my friend, the one who had written: "Thank you for not sending HEAVEN any more." I received another email from her yesterday. As I first read it, I felt much negativity from her. When I reread it later, the surface words were really okay, but I sensed double stuff going on.
I mentioned this to Karen who gave me such a beautiful response. God, I do not know how to tell the difference between her response and Yours or Mother Divine's. Her response was truth and love and wisdom, and I believe it was Your answer.
God:
When someone is so connected to Me, virtually all the time, what can they speak but truth and love and wisdom?
Gloria:
Karen told me to be in my truth, and she showed how to do it.
First, she verified that this person wants me to be puzzled by our relationship.
I excerpt the gist of what Karen said.
Karen:
Your friend is really trying to get you upset so that you will take her pain; that's what you felt when you read her letter. She is trying to get at you. She wants you to waste your time thinking about and figuring out what your relationship is. This is a form of control, and people who do this are good at it.
If she knew God, she would not be trying to drop you down to her vibration and get you to pretend all is great, as she does.
We create our own suffering by lying to ourselves…
Ask God to teach you to accept the truth of this person. Teach her to be in truth of God by being in your truth… You see, you don't have to care who likes you…all that matters is that you honor God and self.
Answer her email. Tell her the wonderfulness of HEAVEN and your life. You don't have to get into hers. Tell her you have love for her and that some day you will have more time to write, and then move on…
Stay neutral. When you do not stay neutral, you allow her to put her pain or energy into you. So ask God to help you be neutral. You may have to ask fifty times — do it!
You are here for your life, not someone else's.
Gloria:
So then, God, when anyone has a relationship where they don't know what's going on, one or both are kidding themselves?
God:
Yes.
Gloria:
Sartre or Camus said that all the troubles of the world come because we don't use a simple speech.
God, a deaf mute blind retarded person, as You have mentioned, is only reached by his heart, and that's why he gets to You fast. He only knows truth and not how to dissemble.
God:
Untruth gets in the way of truth. It is that simple. Take everything but truth away, and you have only truth, which was only hidden in the debris.
Gloria:
A Course in Miracles makes it clear that a teacher of God does not heal anyone. The person heals himself. It is like the patient has lied to himself, and the teacher of God helps him remember what he forgot — that he did not make himself, God is, and has given him everything already.
Everywhere I go lately, God, my attention is drawn to being truthful. I have to practice to say what I think and feel. In fact, I have to practice to even notice what I think and feel at the moment. It is like some politeness keeps me back.
God:
Truth was hammered out of you. You were taught what you were supposed to think and feel. Do you see how far away that is from Me? You were taught to honor every person and situation and not yourself. And I was not even in the equation.
So now step out of matching your thoughts to events. When you are not so concerned with others' reactions, you will know your own.
Gloria to Mother Divine:
Dear Mother Divine, my dear Mother Divine, what would you like to tell me this morning?
Mother Divine:
Only truth can blossom. Everything else withers.
Gloria:
When Karen said when people are in their truth, God's truth, they have only one side to them. With my friend that I got mixed messages from, that's why then?
Mother Divine:
Yes. She is many-sided. From fear. Know God, and He will displace fear and return it to the nothingness from which it came.
Gloria:
I have a tendency to lie, Mother Divine, to exaggerate, to switch some details.
Mother Divine:
And now you can change that.
Gloria:
Lying is a kind of hiding then, isn't it?
Mother Divine:
Hiding what has no need to be hidden. Human beings get carried away with their own lies and walk on quicksand.
Beyond the lie lies something else, something unfulfilled.
Tell me a lie that you remember or have thought of.
Gloria:
I am ashamed to say it. It's one I have thought of. I have a friend who collects certain things. I picked up a few for her at a yard sale yesterday. In the past, when I have seen something she would like at a yard sale, I have just given them to her as gifts, or, in a rare instance, asked her to cover the cost.
And now, caught in my "balancing the score" mode, I feel I have given her enough, and it's lopsided. I don't want to do it for free anymore. Of course, I don't have to do it at all!
I was going to ask her to reimburse me for more than what I would imply I had paid.
Mother Divine:
So why did you think implying that you weren't making a profit was better?
Gloria:
Well, I don't think it's nice to make money off of friends. And maybe doing so would make me less wonderful or less honorable.
Mother Divine:
And what is beyond that?
Gloria:
That I be loved. I would be buying the person's regard.
Mother Divine:
Whose regard doesn't really matter that much to you anyway. So whose regard would you be buying?
Gloria:
My own.
Mother Divine:
You would buy it with a lie! What would be the matter with letting this person know you would be making some profit? Is that underhanded?
Gloria:
No.
Mother Divine:
Offer all thought of lies to God so He can toss them out from your awareness. Forget others' regard. Regard God's. That will be enough.
Gloria:
Dear Mother Divine, I don't know if I can share this with anyone, let alone everyone.
Mother Divine:
Because it is so small? And someone will stop loving you?
Gloria:
Yes. It's humiliating.
Mother Divine:
The thought of an untruth not yet committed has you shrinking. Gloria, really you are not so bad. Stand in your truth.
Gloria:
There is something else in regard to living my truth. I do not love my deity pictures like I used to. I gave a lot away, but still have many and feel guilty that I would prefer to have pictures of flowers and angels up.
Mother Divine:
Right now pictures of flowers and angels stir your heart more. And later something else may replace angels and flowers in your heart and on your walls.
Perhaps the deity pictures served their purpose, and now they can do that for others. Maybe THEY want to be somewhere else!
You do not abandon God or adore Him according to what pictures are on your wall. God is not removable from your heart.
God wants you free, not bound.
God frees you from all restrictions in your mind.
Guilt is a pretense like lying is. It is ego-gratification. It is like you say: "Mother Divine, I am so holy I feel bad to take down deity pictures from my walls."
How silly you are. Make room for flowers and angels, and lighten your heart.