Gloria:
Dear God, I need to re-read all that Karen told me last night, but now I would like to tell you what I have gotten out of it so far. And, I want to say that it seems clear that You specifically sent her to help me and keep me out of trouble etc. I am so grateful. Here's the gist of what she said:
I am being driven in terms of HEAVEN on the Net by my own self. You don't drive anyone, dear God. Self-driven, I am away from You.
So I have to let You drive, and I be the passenger and not use up my energy. I need to bring You and Mother Divine to mind more often. You have told me this.
Karen said I am trying to control Lauren as well as the HEAVEN project. Expectations are the same as controlling. She said I must become neutral. I must let Lauren go until she is ready. Meanwhile, hire people and utilize the angel Jeremy.
She wants me to get more rest. She thought perhaps I wasn't meditating, but I never miss. She wanted me to take time off from writing as well as typing.
I know that Karen can call on You to remove this tension from my heart, but she teaches independence and wants me to do this myself. Time and time again she emphasizes that the connection she has with You is available to all.
She also said that my inner pain is not mine. Like the boys in Colorado who thought the violence they felt was their own, she indicated that I am internalizing Lauren's pain right now.
This is what I remember. And, dear God, I do ask You to remove the iron bar from my heart and replace it with Your peace.
Angel Raphael:
My dear Gloria, it comes back to self-love. It is always about love in one form or another.
Controlling isn't love. Objects are controlled, not people. People are not objects.
And you are not an object or a subject. You are a child of God.
God did not assign you to a coal mine to dig in. He gave you —
Gloria:
Excuse me, is this God speaking?
Raphael:
I am one whom God sent. My name is Raphael. I will continue…
God sent you a gold mine, nuggets all neatly piled for you to pick up at will. Consider HEAVEN the gold mine. It is easy. Karen is right. God does the work. Let Him lead and you follow and frolic on your way to a picnic.
This is a refining of your vision. Attitude comes from vision. See far.
Did God not give you a tattoo so you would always think of Him? I think I shall put a tiny fly on your nose. It will buzz and get in the way of your eyes, and you will remember God constantly.
I will not put a fly on your nose, but I do press my thumb on your forehead. This thumbprint is like an infrared ray that beams to God and back through your nervous system. This is like a transfusion of God twenty-four hours a day.
Gloria:
Thank you, Raphael. Why did God send you? I thought I was going to be talking to God.
Raphael:
God wanted me to come here before He spoke to you.
Gloria:
Thank you.
Dear God, I was uncomfortable with someone else coming in.
God:
That is also your need to control. If I can send messengers on earth to you, I can certainly send angels from Heaven. If you had known ahead of time that Raphael was going to come to you, you would have been more glad and more gracious. You like to know ahead of time. That is control.
Living in the present moment is non-control. That is the neutrality My teacher Karen speaks of.
If you had to name a quality of Mine, you would say neutrality, wouldn't you?
Gloria:
Yes.
God:
Neutrality isn't indifference. I am not indifferent. I have great caring. My heart is everywhere. But I do not abandon My heart to perceived suffering. I do not let My heart be torn or eaten. I don't give parts of it away or throw it to the lions. I keep My heart intact.
And your heart belongs to Me. It is a reproduction of Mine, and I ask you to hold it safe for Me. Give My love but not My heart stored in you. It is not yours to give away nor are you to put other people's woe into it.
This iron bar you feel in your heart is others' pain stuck in there. There is no room. It stops the circulation. Let's return the pieces of others' hearts to them and leave yours free to relax in My love.
Raphael's hands are busy taking out, sorting, and returning.
You are complete with your own heart. Adding others' hearts does not make yours more. It stuffs it and closes it. That iron bar you felt was your heart stuffed, wedged closed. It is opened now and you are freed.
Now, here's what I think. I think it will be fine for you to release yourself from the afternoon writings. I am giving you time off. If you have an issue that cannot wait, by all means, go ahead. Do any afternoon writings you want, but do them for yourself and not for Me. That means you are not required to do them anymore. You get afternoons off.
It is good for you to do the typing as soon as possible. It structures you and gives you a chance to be reminded of what I have said.
As for progress with Heaven on the Net without Lauren's help, you have had some ideas, haven't you? What are they?
Gloria:
Ask Harvey if he has a bookkeeping program he can install. Ask Gloria Proksch if she would help me with bookkeeping and ask database also. I believe she would accept deferred payment.
As for the web page design itself, Karen Holmgren once mentioned that Karen Harris' son was good at it, and maybe he would help and defer payment.
As for the legal/financial setting up of a non-profit organization, I don't know.
God:
I will take care of that. You may have noticed that I delegate. So do you also. Let others carry out for Me.
A Course in Miracles, What Are the Levels of Teaching? (cont.):
"The simplest level of teaching appears to be quite superficial. It consists of what seems to be very casual encounters, a 'chance' meeting of two apparent strangers in an elevator, a child who is not looking where he is going running into an adult 'by chance', two students 'happening' to walk home together. These are not chance encounters. Each of them has the potential for becoming a teaching-learning situation. Perhaps the seeming strangers in the elevator will smile to one another; perhaps the adult will not scold the child for bumping into him…Even at the level of the most casual encounter, it is possible for two people to lose sight of separate interests, if only for a moment. That moment will be enough. Salvation has come."
Gloria:
That tape about my doing spiritual writing and that lady telling me that ministers administer Your Will, those were not accidents!
God:
Not at all. All there for you. And this big one with your daughter, also there for you.