Gloria:
Dear Almighty Father, well, You had Karen call me last night about my blood pressure.
She said that as a child, I was scared and would stop breathing. I just shut off my breathing and trained my body to think it could exist on little oxygen. The heart is a pump that controls blood pressure.
Karen did psychic surgery on me. She used tools and everything. She deprogrammed a knot in an artery. She said that knot was one reason why I have a hard time feeling love. One reason.
She removed blocking energy in the ventricles of my heart. She emphasized that everything has a spirit. She took emotional pain out of my heart. She pulled my feeling lack of appreciation out; that was a huge one.
All the time physical things were going from my tailbone to my jaw. She said my jaw will be looser now. She removed denial from my heart.
She told me that You and Mary accept my heart, that the physical heart is a conduit of God. Our physical life begins and ends in the heart. Important to honor the pump that is the heart.
She said we have to recognize that everything has its purpose. The high blood pressure has helped me to reconnect the purpose of my heart. She suggested I ask You and Mary to teach me about the physical heart because the physical and spiritual work together.
My blood pressure came from tightness, a form of control. Having to control ruins our lives.
Karen told me that when I need insight and healing, I should ask for it, and to ask You and Mary and my spirit to release old programming.
She said I affect people's lives by talking to You. She said I am going to heal people with my vibration. People will be healed as I talk to You. I will ask God to heal them. Karen said to ask You to please heal this being with this problem. God is revealed to people through like Karen and me who are connected to You. She reminded me to help people if they ask for my help.
I hear You, and You hear me, and people know then that I believe in You. This is my job. I have to own it, this energy. When I think I can't do it, I give my power away. Spirit opens to my vibration. I am responsible to this gift. This gift is like energy dust. I don't want the dust to blow away.
She said to be all that I am, my beingness. She said to ask You for guidance and help. I talk to You. She said that many people think they talk to God, but I do. She said I draw people who want God.
She said I am still learning to own what I am. I had to be purified to be in a safe state. In order to come into truth, I had to be purified.
My daughter is my biggest lesson. I don't like to be alone. (Actually, I do, but I do like having someone.) The thought of not having Lauren flips me out. I have been controlling Lauren. It was not my intent, but that is what I have been doing. She said Lauren is not to be my anchor against loneliness. All this is my blood pressure. I need to see truth.
I need to look at where I am so I can let it go.
I have to let Lauren be free. Then I can be free and be more with You, God. She said my communication with You will go beyond writing. I will feel on a different level.
She said I had many compulsions as a child. Depression comes with compulsion.
She said to start being what I am. I work for You. I am being prepared for Your work. People will come to me and call me because I communicate with You. In order to pray, one has to have faith.
You vibrate through Karen. You vibrate through me. Only You will move me.
She said I am loved. The High Powers are of me. All is within me.
Well, dear God, I didn't know I had faith. Maybe I don't know what faith is. You must have given it to me anyway.
God:
I give it to everyone. It has to be collected.
Gloria:
I feel fortune, dear God. I am not sure I know what I am in order to own it. I think Karen is talking about my communication with You. If I communicate with You, then I am a vessel for You.
God:
Your physical heart is the vessel that carries Me in you. It is the holding station for My love. That is why flow is such a key word.
The physical full flow and openness of the heart do not make Me more, but they allow Me to be more visible through you. You understand this.
There is so much water in a reservoir. The question is: how much water is let through?
How much of My love in your heart can get through to others and from Me in them back to you? There lies My fulfillment, the flow of Me between hearts.
Gloria:
So then the purpose of my heart is to connect others to You through it?
God:
Yes, but remember there are no "others". Your heart is to connect to Me, and that allows the One Heart to flow in stream through you. It is as though you magnetize the other Bodies' hearts so they are pulled to Me and reconnected to their Source. Your open heart is a vessel.
Gloria:
As Karen, through her heart, brings me ever closer to You. It is Your grace and love in her that blesses me?
God:
Yes, and Karen makes it easy for Me. She opens the way for Me as I open the way for her. It is like one stroke, Gloria.
Gloria:
I don't really get it.
God:
You get it, but your mind doesn't. You have got it. You live it. You are it.
Gloria:
What is it I have to own? That I work for You? I want to work for You. Sometimes I believe it, that I do work for You.
God:
Have more faith in what I have placed in you and you accepted. Recognize it, that's all.
Gloria:
Maybe if Karen wrote it down or drew a picture, I would grasp it better.
God:
No, it is up to you, not Karen. Rest on this now. We will come back to it. I sense your tension rising because you're not sure of what this is about. You are feeling as you did in high school geometry class which you never quite caught on to. The difference here with you and Me is, you are succeeding in it, whether you understand it or not. Realize that on some level, you do understand fully, and Karen wants you to bring that level up the surface so you will be fully conscious of it, and then you can wear it on your jacket as an emblem of your heart beneath it.
Karen wants you to be fully with Me, not part-time. And you want that, and I want that, and it will be.
A Course in Miracles, Lesson 332:
"Fear Binds the world. Forgiveness sets it free. The ego makes illusions. Truth undoes illusion's evil dreams by shining them way. Truth never makes attack. It merely is… with forgiveness does the light shine through the dream of darkness, offering it hope, and giving it the means to realize the freedom that is its inheritance…For as we offer freedom, it is given us."
Gloria to God:
Dear God, so much for control!
God:
So much for control! Let today be a quiet day in which love sinks in. Do not wrestle with understanding. Understanding will come as your vision expands.
You do not fail when you don't understand. You don't make the sun rise. You don't understand the mechanisms either. And understanding arises like the sun, and know it will come.
Gloria to Mother Divine:
Dear Mother Divine, what will you tell me?
Mother Divine:
You are like a child who holds an apple in his hand and asks, "What is an apple?"
"Well, eat it," the mother says, "and you will know what an apple is."
The child eats the apple, and still asks, "What is an apple?"
The mother answers, "That which you just ate is an apple. The experience of eating it was knowing the apple."
What this means is that you can never really define an apple. It is a fruit; it comes in many varieties and flavors, but all that still does not tell you what is an apple.
You work for God. That is your apple. Enjoy it. Eat it. Share it. God gave you the apple to eat and share.
God gave you your gift of listening and writing down for you to eat, enjoy, and share.
It is a simple gift of oneness with God.
And to God, you are like an apple given to Him. He is part of you, and you are part of Him.
You do not have to think much about what part is God and what is you. You have a gift to give, and you give it.
You have the gift. I was given to you, and you received it. It was no mistake. Owning it means that you accept it as yours. You do not hesitate about the gift. It is an apple given to you. It was meant for you. And you share your apple. You don't hide the apple behind your back or pretend you don't have it. God gave you that apple.
It is like He asked you for this dance. You graciously accept His hand, and you dance as He leads.
So, you are the apple, the receive of the apple, the sharer of the apple, and a dance partner. You are an apple of love. The dance you dance is God's love in motion. And you link others' hands to God's.
So, you are an apple, a dance, and a link. You are Gloria, God-given, God-blessed, and God-giving. That is who you are, and there is nothing for you to add on to it. Just sink into it. Be it. There is nothing else for you to be. You are God's child. He is your Benefactor. You are His beneficiary. You are the trustee of His Will, and His Will is that you share your inheritance. You would not do otherwise, and you cannot do otherwise, for it is God's Will.
Later…
Gloria:
Dear Mother Divine, remember you told me to take my blood pressure today? Well, I did, and it was 135 over 73, as opposed to 194 over 110 three days ago! So today my blood pressure is in the normal range. Karen may have pulled the trigger, but you and God sent her, and I am so grateful to all of you. I could cry for joy that such as you and God and Karen exist, that you wish to heal me, and that you do.
Mother Divine:
Of course.
Gloria:
Dear God, well, You and Mother Divine and Karen did a lot for me. Thank You.
God:
A pleasure. And it's for a purpose, so the return is great. You don't quite believe Me, but you can believe Me — you are just beginning. The sun is just peeking up over the horizon.
Consider yourself a sun. Your head peeks up over the horizon. All of the earth is the dress you wear. Sun and earth are you. You hold the earth in your arms, and you become the earth. Your arms are the equator, the hem of your skirt its girth. You are all the countries and all the states. You are sky and the air you breathe as well. You fasten the earth in space, and your eyes are the main stars. Your ears are balancers. The population of the world is like the print on your skirt of the earth. A smiling sun and earth are you.
Other planets are your whimsey. You sing to them and enchant them. The night stars are your jewelry. The rosiness of the firmament is your make-up. Twilight is your hair, the moon your crown.
You encompass the whole creation. Your breath rustles the moon, and waves in the sea wave and unwave.
Your finger draws the rivers. Motions of your eyes make trees grow up out of the earth. Your thoughts produce flowers. Rains drops them to earth.
You are a many-jewelled diadem.
You are the breathing of nature.
You are nature, and you belong where you find yourself. From now on, whenever you see the moon pass over the sky, stars sparkle, winds blow, remember they are part of you as you are part of them, and they also benefit from the Oneness of God and reciprocate an exquisite exchange of energy.