As you sow, so shall ye reap does not quite mean what it is taken to. It is not karma. It is not tit for tat. All it means is that if you go Rte 66 West, you will be going west. If you take Rte 66 East, you will go east. All it means is that when you go in a certain direction, that is the direction you have taken. If you take a graveled road, you are going to find gravel. If you take a sunny path, you are on it. The decisions you make are the decisions you make. You can, of course, change them. When you get off a certain road, you are off it. You can turn around. As ye sow does not mean you are being punished or rewarded for the past. Get out of that thinking.
When you smile, it is more likely you will receive smiles.
When you are friendly, it is more likely you will find friendliness.
When you are happy, it is more likely you will attract happiness.
But it is not inevitable. You can be going down a self-defeating road and still meet inspiration and favors from Heaven. There are flowers everywhere, whichever road you take. There are rocks in most roads too, whatever path you are on.
Whichever road you choose at a given time, there are other people on it, and they carry their own cargo with them. You are not responsible for every action of those you come across. Just as you, even on the high road, sometimes are cross. That doesn't mean that the person you meet is responsible for your crossness because they happen to be near you when you express it.
No matter what path, no one deserves crossness. Everyone deserves kindness and beauty, whichever path they take, and they shall have it.
Do not begrudge those who have chosen a difficult or, to your eyes, wrong path. Do not begrudge that they also receive goodness even when, according to you, they don't deserve it. Do not think, by their receiving a blessing, that you are denied.
By the same token, do not think that you who are only good are mistreated when something untoward befalls you. Your life is not always a question of what you deserve or what do not. Life is not a counting system. Beads are moved as on an abacus. There is an impartiality. It is best not to take anything personally. Neither the bouquets nor the rocks. No matter who you are and what you have done, all the seasons come.
Do not feel that you are carrying a heavy burden of the past. And I mean all past. I mean your ancestor's past and the history of man.
You do not need absolution. There is nothing to absolve you from. If you feel that you must be absolved, then I absolve you. Life itself is absolution. Life is a clearing, life is this moment of non-time.