We have talked about borders and their nonexistence. That is not to be taken as meaning that you have no rights. Your rights can be violated in terms of world life, and I do not ask that you be noncommittal about that.
You don't have to let someone take your pencil. You don't have to let someone step on your foot. If it's not okay with you, it's not okay.
You are entitled to speak up. "Hey, that's my pencil!" "Hey, that's my foot you're stepping on!" You are not a saint, and you don't have to be a saint.
If you don't mind that someone takes your pencil or steps on your foot, that's another thing. But if you mind, you have the right to say so. You have the right to your existence and to the space you take up and the feelings you have. The world will not always honor them, but you do well to honor them. You honor them by acknowledging them to yourself and to trespassers. The trespassers of your space may be innocent, but no matter how well-intentioned they may be, if you feel you have been stepped on, indeed, you may have been. Do not apologize.
Humility does not mean abjectness. You are a Human Being, and you are not to feel guilty for having Human feelings.
You are not to feel ashamed for objecting to being walked on, or feeling that you're walked on even if it's your misinterpretation. It is not true that anything goes. You forgive trespasses, but that does not mean you ignore them. It is not for you to slough off what you feel.
Say your piece. You have your view, and it is yours to express. Whether others listen, that's up to them. That's their thing, not yours. And you do not have to express their view. You can understand their view and have empathy, and you can also represent yourself. Have empathy for yourself.
You will be less emotionally involved when you speak up. Speaking up is an action, and action is appropriate.
I do not preach passivity any more than I preach anger. Of course, I do not preach at all.
Passivity is a waiting game. Sometimes situations do take care of themselves, but your life is not to be spent waiting for someone or something to come in to change it. What would you be waiting for, and how long would you wait?
Say what's on your mind. Remove the obstacle if you can, and go on. And if you cannot remove the obstacle, go on anyway. The obstacle leaves you, or you leave it. Do not stay with it. Move on. Whatever transpires, what caught you has to be let go of, or it is doubly hurtful, recurring in your mind again and again. But you know all that.
You are worthy of being noticed. It is not worthy of you to allow yourself to be overlooked. You exist.
Oh, it is such a fine line between ego and true value.
If you want your pencil back because you want things your way and won't let go, maybe then it's ego. If you are trying to prove a point, maybe then it's ego. If it's a question of control over another, that's the same as wanting your way for the sake of your way, and that's ego. And when it's ego and you get your way, there is no sigh of relief. You won a small victory, and there's no pleasure in that, as you have found.
And when it is true value and not ego, nothing big has transpired. You reached out your hand, and you got your pencil back.
And all the time, two or more souls were in action. They were in a transaction. Transactions go this way or that. In any case, you leave the transaction and go forward in life without regret. Hold no wounds. Allow yourself the freedom to move on. Bless yourself as much as another.