The source of emotional discomfort is the belief that you are unloved and possibly unlovable. And you do have emotional discomfort. Every wrong that has been done to you (perceived as wrong) has been a notch in your heart that says you are not loved. Every wrong has become proof that you are not. Heartache wouldn't be so difficult for you except that, when faced with it, you start to believe in your unworthiness, and your worthiness fades from your view.
A person or event was terrible to you, did not honor you, dismissed you, scorned you, or laughed at you, certainly did not understand you. You could withstand all that. What you could not withstand is the idea that you are not only not loved but that you are also finally unlovable, proven unlovable.
This is a big lie, that you are incapable of being loved. Beneath that is the bigger lie, that you are incapable of loving. Because you have been able to give your heart only under certain circumstances, you have convinced yourself that you are unloving.
That you have given only part of your heart is true, but that does not mean you are unloving. It means you have been afraid to be the full-blown love that you are. You have been fearful of recrimination, of being thought a fool, or having your love unappreciated and unrequited, perhaps stepped over as though you had not given it or certainly that it was not thought much of or regarded.
You have been overwatchful in spending your love and in receiving it. Before giving, you have been watching for and waiting for results. You have been looking for payback.
Love is not like that. Love is just to be spent and not accounted for. Love yourself, and you will emanate love and not restrict it. You know, of course, I do not refer to talk of love or show of love or physical attraction or attachment. I am talking about the quiet love that emanates from your heart. I am talking about your awareness that permeates from your beating heart into the aura of the world. It may beat into individuals before you, but it goes further than any individual. It goes beyond anything in sight.
You are freeing yourself from the need of other's love. It was your ego that needed love from others. You need your own love and awareness of Mine. You need to know who you are and be it. Circumstances are not your concern. Return is not your concern. Being truthful is your concern. It is truth We are talking about.
Truth is not in restraining your heart. And there you are. That is the truth you need to hear. Closing of your heart is away from truth.
Put not shutters on your heart. Do not open and close your heart. You do not need to protect it. It is your ego you have been protecting. You are much more than ego. You are not ego at all. You have been pretending you were. Ego is not anything at all. The most ego can say is that it is an attempt to cover up great truth with small pretenses and gather itself into a great cover-up called illusion.
Cease paying so much attention to illusion. Rather than letting illusion sweep you up, sweep it out. Escape littleness. Come back to love. Let love and not shrouds surround you. Come out of the cave of your heart and open it to the light. You are My beloved, and I say to you to hold nothing in your heart but My love so that My love shines in your daily life. Do not save My love in you for some big moment. Do not save it at all. Be it. Be it now. Open your heart like a great cloak and let the world be warmed by it. Let the bygones be gone. Let life begin.
Can you imagine Christ walking the earth and sizing up circumstances and speculating on the odds of return before he released My love? Can you imagine that he counted votes or gave any thought to the receipt of My love through him? He gave My love no matter what his eye glanced on.
If he were selecting where My love in him would alight, he would have strutted. He would have called attention to himself instead of to Me.
He knew that all were My sons and daughters and therefore his brothers. He knew no man was a stranger to himself nor to Me. He gave out My love through every glance because he knew Whose love it was he gave and to Whom he gave it. He gave what had been given to him. It was not his to keep. It was his only to give. And so he gave My glory.
And so it is with you.
Do not clutch your heart to you. Free your heart. My love is to fall on everything that is around you. Let My love fall now from your heart, and you will dispatch My love, and it will reach near and far. It will reach to far corners. It will reach Me.