As many others, reaching my 40’s has brought a revision of my self and where I am and heading.
I have an incredible wife at my side (Sylvie) for the past 6 years (married since September 2004) that as help me incredibly to boost my own self and show that I am worth much more then I ever imagined in the past. We are now living in our house for the past 2 years, and lack nothing material.
Living with us is also Sylvie’s daughter (Caroline), a very good (for a teenager :D ) 17 year old, Bibitte and Gypsy our 2 house cats, and lastly Misty, my Quaker parrot.
I have also a daughter (Mylène) from a previous relation which is now 17 year old, but as not lived with me for the past 3+ years, having had to request help, and is living in a great foster home that are more able to accept her learning difficulty, “mental level” and the way she is, that we could not accept (?) and/or handle. We still see her regularly, and my Love for her is still great, although there sometimes seems to still be some negative emotions that surfaces…
Although, this life that many could look at as being “perfect” (house, car, work I enjoy, good family), there as still been something that is/was missing inside of me… Or maybe it’s more “ME” that was missing.
My spiritual journey began back in 1998 (or about) finding my self alone with Mylène after her mother left us and cut all contact with us. But as many strange things, I was looking more for a way to be more “stable” materially (i.e. have more money and things) then spiritually, being at that time more a “believer in God just because I knew there was something greater”, but not really having any contact, believing He was not really there to help me (was I wrong :wink: ). In my search to have more, I was brought to read a book dating back to the ‘30’s called The Science of getting Rich by Wallace Wattles, that thought that we can have all we want by getting more in line with the Universal Mind (God) and following a certain way of living, including Faith, Gratitude, “seeing/feeling” what we wanted and letting Him do the work. From there, I discovered a few more “material” oriented literature that also in the long run, brought the fact that I needed to be more clear about my own self, rather then have stuff; Napoleon Hill Think and Grow Rich, Anthony Robbins, Stephen Covey, Neale Donald Walsh and a few others I thought would help me “grow” into “someone”, but never having a truly clear image of what I wanted to be,
Meanwhile a few bouts of depression brought more and more to me that it is not really the materiel ownership that was so important, but the way I look at myself and the World in general.
At some point my desired turned more toward the spiritual, having renewed contact with God, but still more as someone I was complaining too instead of letting help me. Then, things brought me to look into Spirit Guides, talking with God and/or the Angels and others like that, and my journal, still at first more complaining and monologues then dialogues, but sometimes “flashes” would come and I would start writing these between square brackets, but still not trusting/believing enough that these where from God/Angels/Guides.
As so often, while zapping I stopped on a PBS channel showing a seminar of Wayne Dyer that inspired me a bit more, and I started looking into this gentleman, and more and more, my connection to God started to build up. With his discovery, I also started to find out about Sylvia Brown, Doreen Virtue, Trudy Griswold and Barbara Mark (authors of Angelspeake, www.angelspeake.com ), Osho and others, but not really getting “into them” at that time.
Then, somewhere in 2003-2004, my search for Happiness and joy started, with reading Eckart Tolle Power of Now and later the discovery of a gentleman called Lionel Ketchian ( www.happinessclub.com ) from which I learned about choosing Happiness, and via his newsletter, was brought to HeavenLetters.
Since then, I have learned to take a better look at my Self and choose Happiness and Joy (still working on this), I have read The power of Intention and with Heavenletters, the messages from God that Gloria channels, I have also grown to trust my Heart and want to grow much more closer to Him.
So presently, I am finally enjoying the ride, learning more about Life, God, and giving Him the chance to work with me. I have started reading A Course in Miracles and at the same time, learning to talk and “hear” much more God, the Angels and Guides the He so generously give us the chance to work with and grow, by exploring angel communication via Doreen Virtue’s “method”, and continuing journaling/conversing in my own way (minus a lot of the negatives that I used to always look at… It is so true that we always get what we think about!).
So here I am now, at this moment, still a child learning to walk and talk, but so much more relax and happier, but still in need of learning about my self and my Purpose, but now willing to let God work with and trough me.
What a great Life I have!
Thank you God!
To be continued…