Here’s what happens when you let go. You have a desire, and you go for it, and yet you are not dependent upon results coming from your desire.
Let Us say you desire a particular client. You want to sell him something. You do not hold on to his buying from you, whether it be product, service, or counseling. He does not have to buy from you. He does not have to be like you. He doesn’t have to like you. He doesn’t have to do anything. It is you who offers. You may offer with your whole heart and soul, and you do not demand anything. He may buy or not buy. You are not changed whether he does or not. Your life does not depend upon it. You do your best selling, and yet you are not attached. There are no have to’s when it comes to being less attached to outcomes in the world.
In life, you are always trying to sell something. When you invite someone for dinner, you are selling your cooking and your hospitality. You are selling an evening well-spent. There is no coercion. There is invitation. Whether your friend accepts or not, it is not calamity.
When you are less attached, you are more accepting. When you are less attached, you offer more freedom to the other and to yourself. Be a freedom-giver, and you will be less attached. You will have let go. Truly, your strength is in letting go. Your strength is not in holding on.
You will still set goals for yourself, and you will work on them, and you will know your goals are only goals. They are not necessities. You are not dependent upon achieving the goals. You are enjoying yourself.
Much of the time in life, you have been like the little child who must have a certain candy he sees in the candy store window. It is as if he must have it. It is as if it belongs to him. If he gets it, he is satisfied for a moment. And if the child does not get the candy, he cries and feels bereft. He may even have a tantrum.
Often, when life doesn’t go your way, you have an inner tantrum. You feel overwrought. You feel that something is the matter. You feel you have failed when nothing has happened at all. You have not failed. It is simply that your customer did not buy what you wanted him to buy from you. It is simply that you did not get the chewy caramel you had your heart set on. Better to set your heart on what is yours to accomplish and not on what others must do. They belong to themselves and not to you, and not to your will.
Give others free will, yet it is not for you to give free will because I have already given it. It is for you to let go.
Now, letting go is not from dint of will, beloveds. You can set the intention that you will let go, and then you let go of having to let go. Letting go cannot be forced. Nothing is to be forced. That is just the point of letting go. There are not demands. There is not insistence. Letting go will come from your state of consciousness. Know it will come, and you will have it as a natural part of life. Know it. Your life doesn’t depend on non-attachment, yet you know you will have it. Non-attachment will come to you as a good servant. There will be nothing in life that has to obey you. And so you are free. And so you are unattached.