Cannot every event or development be viewed as a success? Where did the idea of failure come from? It seems to Me that you too often feel that you have failed. Or you feel you will fail, so, even in success, you fear failure. Even in the midst of plenty, you fear lack.
Many years ago, I was at a point where I didn't know what direction to take or what to do with my life, what was my purpose, my talents, what was I to do? Voicing this to a friend, she offered me her cabin on an island while she was gone for a week or two. I accepted gratefully and decided to treat this as a retreat where I hoped some answers would come to me.
First it took me some time to relax into it. I had to allow myself the freedom to be and not to act to: "have to", "should", "can't", and so on........... all the voices that have been programmed into us since childhood. I ended up sleeping as long as I wanted, eating whenever I was hungry, doing whatever felt at that moment and ended up enjoying the solitude with myself. The week ended with no big voice from heaven. I came away though with the wisdom that much of our endevours and actions are based on SUCCESS and that brings with it the fear of FAILURE. Then, I realized that there is no such thing as success, that all is EXPERIENCE and therefore no need to fear it. That realization suddenly freed me to take any path, direction, actions that I was drawn to and if after a while I didn't like it, a could allow myself to choose something else and after that, again something else, knowing that all of it was a series of experiences and that was OK.
Since then, I've had many experiences and will have some more and don't regret any of them.
~Xenia~