I hear the weeping in your heart. I hear all that you have been holding back. Today you reveal the Offhand Lostness of Your Bewildered Heart. How can this be? Yet here you are:
"Beloved God, to Your Heart may I be true. May I know only You. May I put my attention on You and not me. I am tired of the attention I put on my doubts and worries, piling up one after the other. This is my Life, and I waste it on small matters, mainly, self-interest and frantic worry. I have a God. Help me, God, to avail my Self of You and not my pile-up of heartache.
"Why must I think of that which stresses my heart, as if that preoccupation were of some avail? I am heartsore. Disturbance is not the good of my life, so why why why do I spend my life on that which crushes me when I could spend my life on that which enriches me. I could contribute to others from one degree to another. Why oh why, why would I be stingy?
"It would seem that I have gotten off track. Supposedly in the name of happiness, I run myself down into the ground.
"If I am not serving You, God, what am I doing? What am I here for? If I am prohibiting the Fulfilment of Life for myself, then it must be that I am clouding the Joy of Life for all those whom You would refer to as my brothers and sisters. My heart gets cold. I come up against strangers with glints in their eyes.
"Beloved God, set me straight on an Upward Spiral of Life. Keep me free from distraction from anything less than Love on Earth. I am so tired, of all the diversions from love that I stumble over and take to heart. Help me to love. I am so tired of being in want. If I truly desire Love so much, why don't I love more?
"For Your Sake, God, help my heart to beat for love. Help me to take Your Heart and know it as mine. Help me to know no other heart but Yours.
"God, You don't give up on me, do You? I couldn't be the one who gives up on love, could I? Could I give up on my Self?
"Restore my heart, O God. Bring me back to You Who Art My Very Self. Once and for all, help me to reveal my Self as You know me to be. Give me You once and for all. Thank you, God."
Come, come, now, dear Children. Since when did you live in a dry desert? An oasis exists. Why do you keep begging Me for what I have always given you? I never withheld Love from you. For Heaven's Sakes, why would I do that? If I am God, I am not less.
Get off your knees and onto your feet. Give up all this hung-over Self-doubt.
If you know what you want, what would prevent you from having plenty of what you want? Would you dawdle? Would you play a part that is untrue to your Self? Is this possibly a camouflaged way of trying to get away from your Self? Are you seeking a fraud you perpetuate upon your Self for the sake of what? Despair?
Toss off despair and trade it in for the Sake of Awareness. If you have been riding a horse named Despair, hop on the horse named Awareness.
Where on Earth will you spend what, Beloveds?