What, for God's sake, has convinced you that you are the judge and jury of Life? Live your life, yet it isn't for you to be a holy critic of Life. What if you would be a Good Citizen of Life and be amiable with yourself and Life? Let Life make its twists and turns. There is more to Life in the World than your correcting of it.
Here is what I have been hearing from your heart and mind:
"Thank You, God, for this experiment -- these Waves of Life as they apply to me. These waves are not mine. They pass by me. They are Infinite, these Moments in Time that sometimes may seem to trespass against me. It seems that my regard for Life is made of Habits of Thought.
"Sometimes I hesitate to accept Life. I measure it instead. I do not really see Life as Holy. Too often it has seemed to me that Life has no right to go here and there and take me with it as though I were a tender heart and soul. I am a Mover of Life, yet I personally am not Lord and Master of Life even as, in the final analysis, I hear You say that I, like You, am the Indweller of All Life.
"If only I, this individual as I perceive myself, would get past this Mirage of Time, give myself a Stay of Execution, as it were. At present, I stomp around, perceiving myself as fragile and vulnerable, when the Truth is that nothing untoward can happen to me. I am Infinite. I am Eternal. All this temporariness I am convinced of affects me as much and as often as I allow it to. It is a theory I carry with me, when, as Pure Being, I carry nothing with me. I have no possessions.
"Pure Being has no possessions. Pure Being has no pockets, no perplexity. My Pure Being is carried by Love, and that's what You, God, say I am. It is All. I am Instant Love. I am Perpetuity of Love. I am nothing less, and there is nothing more than the Infinity and Eternity that You assign to me as my very Essence.
"As Your Gift You give to me, I may seem wrapped up in varied wrappings, yet You are the Gift You give to me. I may seem awry, yet I am not awry. I am dedicated to You, the God of Oneness. I may seem to depart, yet departure from You does not exist. Your Hand is sturdy in my heart, no matter how I may say otherwise. There is no otherwise. There never was.
"In my life as a human Being, I can pull all kinds of tricks on myself. Tricks are tricks, and do not really mean anything. They are Figments of Imagination. They are stray thoughts running around signifying nothing. You are Everything, God, and somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I understand that I am Everything too, and, yet, no thing exists. There are no things. There are only Hearts and Souls. Despite all the this and all the that, we, Your children, carry the same Power and Glory as You. This seems impossible, for my mind says this can't be, while Your Heart inside me tells me it can only be.
"Yet, I faintly grasp, that nothing is otherwise. There is no otherwise. Otherwise has been only a play on a stage. A play may seem true, yet it is a production called a play and appears on a stage. Does this mean then that Life Is Staged? Is it that Life is a passing moment made to look real for a while and, in actuality, has nothing to do with the essence of Who I Am?
"I am fraught with dissembling. I say, 'Lights, Action, Cameras!'
"It must be that right now I try to defend fallacy. I cry Wolf, when the True Cry is Love and nothing but Love. I try telling my made-up stories in many versions. Every version is a Lifetime. Every Lifetime is a fictional story, no matter how many believe in fiction as reality when fiction is nothing but a pretense for a moment. Illusion is illusion. Illusion cannot be true, yet I have been mixed up, and I have been wandering for too long, too long a while, God."