When you and a friend or loved one seem to be at an impasse, leave off. How can you love and care so much about each other, and yet, at the same time, be so angry and so small with each other. All that you object to comes from a flaw within yourself that you paste on as blame on another. It is short-range thinking. It is not truly a range at all. This is like your choosing a path you disdain.
Of course, you do not feel you are choosing, so impelled are you to setting the seeming other straight, requiring the other, not you, to admit the error of his ways. Your desire for their admitting their fault of what are your ways that you so authoritatively point out to them – dear ones, you are caught red-handed in broad daylight.
This happens in marriages when the opposite of love shines, and there is a sense of being belittled to and fro.
Ask, not: "What happened to us?" Ask: "Where do we go from here? How do we get back to a state of good manners and become once again a blessing to each other?"
Do nothing. Be everything. No more spats.
I will make a suggestion to you: Spend some time without speech. Have a few hours or a day of a truce when it comes to speech. This is not the same as not speaking to one another. This is choosing Silence as a way of communicating. Try it. Even in cases of the worst disagreements, in Silence, incompatibility vanishes, and compatibility comes to the fore.
Come back to your roots. In silence, harmony rises, and disharmony rests its weariness. Without speech, your True Self rises. Without speech, clouds recede. Without speech, arguments calm down.
Sometimes there is too much speech. With rampant speech, people get caught up in disagreeing. Better to get caught up without a necessity for agreeing.
With speech, you may have what appears to be havoc escalating, one word after another set in stone. You want to be love, and nothing but love. Speech can complicate whereas Silence can make harmony accessible.
In harmony, you are in the Light. In disharmony, you are in the dark. Darkness imposes itself upon you. I tell you, when you speak in anger, you are not speaking Truth. Something other than what you argue about is bothering you. It is almost as if you are angry in order to deny love. You may begin to growl and then bite.
You know very well that disputing is not the way to go, yet you dispute. You deny the beauty in each other, and you spit out bitter fruit.
Reward yourself and the perceived other with Silence, and, of itself, harmony will grow, and you will grow.
All the fussing is needless. It doesn't do any good. It doesn't relieve you of what is irritating to you. It inflames. Try Silence. You will begin to see your own sense of love again.
This is not about being patient. This is not about biting your tongue. This is about freeing yourself from resentment and bitterness.
You may think you have to "work things out." Often, this means going around in a circle.
Being silent is a fast route. It is not being so involved in working something out. It is much more involved in Being.
Sometimes you feel you are so irate that you are going out of mind. In fact, you are getting too much into your mind and out of your heart. Revealing your irritation seems to take precedence. There is nothing wonderful about revealing your irritation. Your irritation is wasteful. Even though time does not exist, letting off steam and getting nowhere is a waste of time. There is no time to waste. In this lifetime, you do not have forever. Life on Earth is a precious moment in time. Let present life lead you forward.
Arguing with fervor, no matter how sincere, is throwing stones in your path. Arguing with fervor slows your progress. Arguing with fervor is digging up and chewing the same old bone. Where does it get you? Nowhere.