What you say and what you feel are meant to be the same. There is not to be a dichotomy between your heart and your words. Above all, you do not want to kid yourself.
Now, I am not speaking of the common courtesies and greetings in life. When someone asks you how you are, you don’t have to recite a long list of complaints in order to be honest.
I am not advocating rudeness. If your friend has you over for a meal and serves it to you, this is not the time to say you don’t like onions. Know how important one word is from you. Know the power of your words. Know the power of what you say. Know that there are matters to overlook, but not always.
When you are discussing matters of the heart or of business, be aboveboard. It is so simple to be honest. It is pretense that is hard. It is not necessary to swallow your feelings or keep them hidden for fear of alienating or offending or not getting the result you would like. When you have not been honest with your heart, you have belied it. Any gain from misrepresentation is ill-gotten.
You do not have to be what you think the other person wants you to be. Saying what is untrue is a liability for you and the other. Both giver and receiver appreciate honesty. It is putting your cards on the table. Not putting your cards on the table is subterfuge.
When your words do not match the truth of your heart, something is off-kilter. It doesn’t feel right. Saying what is not quite so disturbs the environment.
If you have not tried simple honesty recently, try it now and see how relaxing it is. It allows you to breathe better. Then there is no other shoe left to fall. From honesty, agreement can come. Strength does not come from being less than honest.
It is dishonest not to speak up. Saying nothing is not a cure. It is avoidance. It is procrastination. Perhaps there is no better time than right now to say what is true for you. No one says it is the ultimate truth. It is simply how you see something now, not necessarily how you would like to, not necessarily how others would like you to, but how you do.
When someone asks you a question, rather than imagining what they are asking, answer the question they ask. This may seem like a little thing to you. If that is the case, then it is a little thing for you to answer honestly.
Do not pass off life as something else. When you do, it’s like using a pretend voice, making it higher or lower than it is. The timbre of your own voice is fine. Use it. Use honest speech.
This is not telling people off, no, not that. You can be honest without that. You can be clear. You do not have to be unkind to be clear. It is a discourtesy to keep anyone in the dark.
Saying what is true for you is like clarifying soup. It is simply taking off the fat.
If you want to simplify your life, this is the way to do it.
Above all, be honest with yourself.
When you clean your refrigerator, you are being honest with yourself. There is food you kept but didn’t use. No pretending anymore that you will use it sometime. You throw it out now. What a good feeling that is. That is how being honest feels, like cleaning out the refrigerator.