Beloveds, do not confuse possession with love. Neither in life nor in death do you possess another. Neither in life nor in death is anyone a belonging for you to do with as you wish.
When your beloved husband has left his body, you have to let him go. No matter how great your love for him, no matter how much the love in your heart continues, and no matter how much he loved you, you have to let go of your hold. Otherwise, you clutch him. You pretend him alive and in your hands. You make a doll house of your life and move him around, and you deny him his own evolution. You are trying to keep him in place. It is not love that would keep your beloved a prisoner.
He is not your prey to hang on the wall.
He does not want you to make a sepulcher of his life.
He wants you to let him go.
Your paths have diverged for a little while. In death as in life, you have to let him go his way. You cannot keep him immobilized.
Missing your beloved is one thing. Letting him be is another.
Even if your beloved is your son, you have to let him go. In the case of a husband, you are not his mother, and you have to let him go.
It is not noble of you to make a shrine of his life. He cannot be the center of your life any longer. You loved, and the greatness of your love does not have to be proved. You don’t have to be the one in the world who loves more than any one has ever loved before. That does not make you loyal. And you are not in a romantic novel where you must sacrifice your life to a memory. Sacrifice is not noble. If you must be a great heroine, then truly be it and let go of your hold on the man you love. If you love him, you will free him. You do not like to hear this, but holding on is a dead-end street.
There is reason why a widow wears black only for a year. A year is long enough. After a year, it is time for you, the bereaved, to lift your head. Enough rending of your heart. Light a candle every year but do not turn your life into salt.
You cannot make the past continue. You cannot bring it back to life.
Your time with your beloved is done. If your love was true, then let your beloved free. He is not to be a bird caged in your heart. You cannot rewind the tape of your life together forever. You have to make a new movie.
You do not have to remarry. You do not have to dye your hair blonde. But you do have to get up from where you sit and remove the corpse from your bed.
You have the idea that what you are doing is beautiful, but it is not beautiful to make a crypt of your life. You do not bury yourself with your husband and call that devotion. It is not a tribute to him. It is a disservice to him. You reduce him when you keep him in your hand. Let your beautiful husband go. He would have you let him go. Kiss him goodbye, and wish him well. Let him go on his journey with Me. He is not yours to hold. He is yours to let go of now. It is not that you are separated. It is that you are free.