It may seem to you that I let you pass Go, or I do not let you pass Go. It may seem to you that just when you are crossing the draw bridge, it raises up, or some kind of axe does fall. You get skittery with life. You jump around here and there, and can’t seem to get past something and find your direction.
Life seems to delay you. People delay. Everything seems to conspire to make you wait for life to begin or, at least, for life to get up off the couch. It may seem to you that you are waiting interminably in the Waiting Room of Life.
How does one individual of billions on Earth jump-start his or her life? It takes great courage for you. It is not easy for you to feel that you are the Captain of Your Ship. You feel more like you are caught in the doldrums or in a swirling eddy, neither of which leads you where you want to be and who you wish to be.
You are sure that life was meant to be different. You hustle and bustle. You stay still. It doesn’t seem to matter, for your life seems to wait in line. It is like you have been caught at the starting gate all your life long.
You might like to light a fire under your life and get momentum.
You have been idling in a sailboat, and now you want a speedboat.
You feel that you and your life are staying still in a lagoon. Oh, how you want to get somewhere.
You may feel that you sit out your life in a rocking-chair on your front porch.
You ask yourself when your life is going to start, as if you have been waiting all your life. You have been going through motions, waiting for the moment when you are shot out from a cannon and you will make a dent in the world.
It’s not that you favor storms. You just want to get out of the doldrums. You would like something to happen, like dreams to come true.
You cry, and you don’t know why. Tears come to you, and you wonder why doesn’t life come to you this fast. You keep waiting for life to begin, for something to happen, for life to rally around you where you can draw a deep breath and say proudly, “This is my life. It is happening.”
There is something indefinable that you are waiting for, and you are afraid you may have missed it.
You had many glad tidings, and now you sit here wondering: “Is this all?”
You may not know what was supposed to happen, yet you know it hasn’t happened. Right now your life seems like a narrow straight line that begins and ends nowhere, and there is no getting off for you. It feels like you have been on this flat line forever, and there is no end to it. You wonder if you have lost desire as well as momentum.
Let’s say you wanted to be famous, and fame passed you by, or you passed fame by. It doesn’t matter now, yet you would love something to matter. You want it to matter if you live or die. You want your life to matter, yet your life now seems to have been weak-kneed.
You don’t like the idea of being forgotten, yet you would like to forget about much in your life.
Sometimes you wonder if anything matters to you anymore. Maybe the world just doesn’t matter to you much anyway, who is elected president or who isn’t elected and all the by-laws of living life.
What can excite you now or thrill you?
Your life has to amount to more than watching a good movie or reading a good book.
This can’t be what equanimity amounts to – not caring or not caring all that much.
The Sun Rises and the Sun Sets.
The sky is blue or cloudy.
Now you find yourself wanting more of life, even as you don’t really know what you want more of or what it might look like. What can fit the bill for you, beloveds?
You want something that will make you leap up and say: “Eureka!” You want something that will make you leap up and say: “I am alive! I am alive!” You want something that will make you leap up and say: “This is what I have always wanted!”
I think you are looking for Adventure and Lost Treasures.
Nothing is lost, beloveds. You are looking for your Self. Look up. Arise. Open your eyes. See yourself Shining in Bright Light.