Yes, I understand. You want to bow to My Will. You want your life to always be My Will, and, yet, it is like you find yourself hovering over Me. You come to see that you even have to let go of Me. This letting go, if only it were so simple to let life happen as it happens and you truly be neutral about it, for you are not neutral, and you do not want to pretend that you are.
It is confusing. You have will. In fact, you have to have will. It’s not for you to be passive in life. You care. You do care. You certainly are not indifferent. You are involved in your life. In order to live life, you participate in it. At the same time that you understand the power of letting go of control, you find yourself avid for life to follow your will amicably.
You do not know how to be lackadaisical about life. You care about life, yours and others’ lives. You do want to do good in the world, and you do not wish to usurp My Will. You know you can’t just sit around in life. You do have to arise to the occasion. You understand that you have accountability for the direction of your life. You cannot be hapless about your life. You are greater than a chess piece.
How can you take hold of your life at the same time as you let it go? How do you assert without taking control? Perhaps you only imagine control. Perhaps control is an illusion, just as much as no say about your life is also an illusion. If all is illusion, what matters anyway?
Are you to follow or are you to take initiative? If both, then how do you know when?
On one hand, the idea that life is a game takes some pressure off you. At the same time, you feel pressured. You are sure it is not My Will that you feel pressured.
Babies are helpless, yet, for the most part, babies do well. Can it be that you also are no more than a baby in life? Yet, wherein does your volition lie?
Part of you wants to take responsibility, and part of you doesn’t. You want to be good and do right. You receive mixed messages. Let go, take direction. Give input yet only so far and no farther.
You would love to know when it is My Will, and you would love to know when it is yours. So, here is your quandary: You have choices to make in life. You would love to follow My Will, and yet, by definition of life itself, you are not here to be passive or impassive.
You believe in the Glory of God, and you would love to uphold it. And now you come to the crux: Why would I, God, give you Free Will unless I meant for you to use it? Do I or don’t I? Do I or don’t I mean for you to live your life as best you can? Do I or don’t I allocate Free Will to you?
Meanwhile, you wait until the time when you will know that your will and My Will are the same.
You see mistakes in life, and I see Life. You see that you blunder. You want Me to be hands-on at the same time as you don’t quite know what you want. And, meanwhile, you lead your life. You live your life as best you know how, yet you do not harness life. You hold the reins ever so lightly, as if almost not at all, and yet the reins are in your hands even as you give life free rein. Live life, beloveds, more than you weigh it and try to figure it out.