Annoyance and anger just aren’t worth it. Do you really have to be upset again and again by mulling over the same occasion? There must be other recourses than being upset.
No matter how correct you are that the event may be uncalled for, you don’t have to fume nor do you have to erupt like a volcano.
You deserve more than to react and react and react. I say this to you so that you will know to grow to be the master of your life and not so blown by the winds of another’s inabilities. You may say that the people who cause you upset should know better. This may well be true. I’m not arguing with you.
I will also ask you: Is it possible that you, too, by now, could come to a better way of responding? Perhaps this other person is smarter than you because he or she is not nearly so bothered about whatever it may be as you are. This idea rankles you. What it may come down to is that something means more to you than it does to someone else.
You can talk about your right to be angry all you want, yet where does anger get you?
If We care to talk about efficiency and competency, anger is not efficient nor is it competent. You’re wiser without anger, do you agree?
No matter what the justification, what if you aren’t angry? What would you lose, and what would you gain? What if you had composure instead of blood boiling? What if you were true to yourself and wise and kind? What if you could be wiser? What if you were not a wooden match that goes up so easily into flame whenever it is struck?
Look, the basic question We come down to is: What good does your anger do? What does it achieve? What your anger achieves may also be to make the other person angry too. Is this really what you want to accomplish, to make someone as upset as you are?
Maybe you do. Maybe you are like someone who trips over a stone, and then kicks it. Maybe you haven’t faced something, and you trip over that same stone again and again.
I am not telling you to bury a stumbling block or pretend it isn’t there. Perhaps you can go around it. If you can’t, then think of another way to solve the difficulty without irrepressible anger.
I ask you again: What is it you want? And what is a good way to accomplish it? Think of more successful ways to handle what is difficult for you to handle.
If you think back to old upsets, perhaps they aren’t so big now as they once were. How might you handle them now? In a more humane way?
What really made you so angry but your feeling of helplessness and – I have to say it – your ego. Yes, you still have ego, and it is your ego that blows up. Certainly it isn’t your common sense. By and large, with exceptions, you want to consider yourself more and respect yourself more. I am also for that.
However, if you are hot under the collar, maybe you want to cool down.
I also understand that sometimes you have bent over backwards for someone, and it does not seem to be appreciated. Then, instead of anger, you have to face facts. It may be that you are wasting your time. Sometimes you simply have to move on, and kiss the inflammable situation goodbye. It doesn’t have to be done with anger or with tears. It just may have to be done.
There are many reasons for anger, yet, as with anything else, reasons are not an excuse for behavior. Walk around the block and oust your anger and come to terms with what you have to deal with, and deal with it. This is for you to do.