I hear My children cry out:
“To God, dear God, I speak to You, and I know You hear me and You talk to me, and You love me. Why am I not the happiest person in the world? God, why aren’t I?”
I answer:
Habit. It is the premise you start from, that you do not have Me, that you have to attain. You have attained. You have attained Me. What you actually have attained is your awareness of Me, but not just of Me, of our Oneness. There is some residual within you of Our sitting across from each other that you like over Oneness. You have been alone so much in your life, and you love having a Companion like Me.
At the same time as you love Our Togetherness, you also love Our Oneness. Even as Our Relationship is Oneness, and you know it, you love to feel the softness of silk between your fingers, and you also love to feel the lesser softness of linen. You feel you would miss the linen, and you may want to keep it as long as you can.
You want Everything which is Oneness, yet you want the diversion of multiplicity. You want to face Me, as it were, more than you want to be the Foundation of the Universe. You are hesitant about power. Power may have a connotation that you are less than comfortable with. There is part of you that wants to look up to a taller Power, and have you shorter.
So, even as you like to look across at Me, you very much like to look up at Me.
You like having a Great Father in Heaven. In your mind, to ensure that, you must then be at a distance, even a short distance. In that sense, it is not all that easy for you to let Me in. At the same time, you have let Me in. You have gathered Me up in your arms, yet, you have not yet wholly embraced Me for fear of losing yourself.
At the same time, you have not put Me down either. You keep Me held between Heaven and Earth when, all the while, you are destined to come with Me to Heaven in this lifetime of yours as My Companion here, My intimate Self here. It is not that you have renounced Heaven, yet you hold it aside for a little while. You want a little more of Me while you see yourself as you think you are.
Be sure to grasp that I am not talking about the death of your body. I am talking about Our Oneness even as your body carries you. Still, there is something within you that cries out to be individual and to stay a seeker. You like the chase. You like the expectation of being found. Yes, you like expectation. You don’t quite yet fully welcome the sense of the chase being over. Not that it would be a let-down to be with Me as One, yet you don’t quite yet want to leave a realm that is so familiar to you regardless of how you may complain about it.
You would like to keep your feet in two boats. You do not yet quite want to leap over the rainbow. You may think you don’t like relative life all that much, and yet you cling to it, as if you are saying:
“Just a little longer. Just for a little longer, God, let me be a human being who struggles rather than a human being who has transcended struggle and gained full residency in the Kingdom of Heaven.”
Do you imagine that in order to join Me, you would be losing your place in the Sun?
Whatever you may believe, you love the circularity of Earth Life very much. Nevertheless, very soon, you will take My hand and you will say:
“God, I am ready. I am ready to restore myself to my rightful place which is entirely with You. It’s not that I will leave myself in the dust. I will be joining My Self. I won’t be giving my identity away. I will be gaining my True Identity, and joining, as it were, a cast of thousands who have lost their fear of Oneness and become One with You, God. I will be joining Reality, not an abyss. I must give up my fear of the Unknown. It is not even Unknown. I fear the Silence that knows no bounds. I do not have to feel like I am giving up anything, for Heaven has always been my Home. It is where I belong, absorbed in You, God and Your Love. This is where I find my Self.”
Beloveds, it’s not that you disappear. It is that you finally appear as you are. In any case, you and I will be enjoined in your growing awareness soon enough. Come to Me. Here I AM.