I was not meant to be born. My mother, in her pain and fear, actually tried to abort me. This was a fact I always KNEW, even though it was never discussed.
When it did come out as I was teasing my mother one day, a great weight was lifted from both of us. I jokingly told her that what she had not counted on was my desire to be alive and that I was smarter than she because I WAS ALIVE!! She was able to forgive herself for her attempt and I was free from the shadow that had kept us separated.
What I learned is that it my CHOICE to be alive. I chose my father and my mother for the lessons they brought to me. I chose to be in body with all the pain, confusion, joy and bliss that comes from human expression. My choice to experience physicality continues day by day.
All life is based on choice and the gift of free will that allows choice to be present. I choose my life, my experiences, my emotions, my successes as well as my failures. Each choice is a gift for growing the Self and taking the lessons to a HIGHER LEVEL.
There are no BAD choices as each choice brings forth an different set of circumstances that provide the opportunity for growth and awareness. Some of my greatest lessons have come from what might be considered bad choices. This is the paradox of learning.
To be in physical form is a gift as there is NO OTHER PLACE IN THE UNIVERSE WHERE I CAN EXPERIENCE MYSELF AS I AM TODAY. The gift of Life is the gift of All That Is as IT experiences ITSELF through me. I am the creator and the created in the form of LovLee.
What a wonderful gift I have been given! I am thankful that today I can see the clouds and the sun behind them. I am thankful that I can smell the sweetness of the rose and feel the prick of its thorn. I am thankful that I am ONE WITH ALL THAT IS, even though my limited body can only appreciate such a small part of that Oneness.
I am thankful.
With love and gratitude,
LovLee