You who were born to love may not understand what love is. You who are love do not have to add to it.
Yes, of course, there are many forms of love, yet love is not altogether the personal aspect you may often mistake it for.
Yes, love is compassion, yet here is the thing: Love is not feeling sorry for someone. It is not in your best interest to feel sorry for yourself. Why would you imagine that it is in someone else’s best interest for you to feel sorry for him?
If you want to love someone, stay away from pity. Pity is condescending. If you feel pity, don’t reveal it. No one needs your pity. Alas, “Poor you,” and alas, “Poor me,” do not make good medicine.
Caring is one thing. Getting caught up in a version of yourself is another.
When there is food in your refrigerator, and you are hungry, you do not sit around bemoaning your hunger. You get up and make a sandwich. If someone else is hungry, you don’t just sit there patting his hand and tut-tutting. You get up and make him a sandwich.
When someone is crying, compassion does not say that you must cry with him. Being there for him is another thing. Being silent is good. Do not see yourself as the blessing the world has been waiting for. Nor do I suggest that you make light of another’s pain as if he has no right to it. It is you who has no right to it. Do not seize on another’s grief. Do not be emblazoned by it. Do not see yourself as the answer.
Be present. Yet, because someone is in need it is not for you to think that they need you. Be sure it is not you who needs something from the one who is going through something right then. Be not attached to yourself as a giver.
Love is not such a personal thing as you think. Love is not a demonstration of your goodness. You don’t pile on your love as though you are high and mighty.
Buddha healed with his laughter. He didn’t say, “Poor you.” Nor did Christ. To the lame, Christ did not say, “Oh, that’s just terrible. You can’t walk.” To one who had leprosy, he did not say, “Isn’t that awful.” Christ took illness and suffering to a Higher Court.
Crying over another’s ache may make you feel better. It doesn’t bring healing. It may hinder healing. Helping is not such a personal thing. Healing is not feeling sorry for another. Feeling sorry for yourself or another is not a high vibration. Feeling sorry digs the sorryness in deeper.
When you feel sorry for yourself or someone else, you are conveying: “You poor helpless thing. Oh, my, yes, you are a victim.”
Stay away from victim consciousness. Certainly, do not promote it.
If you want to do good for others, it is better not to display yourself as a gift to mankind. You are a gift, yet you are to give without spreading yourself like a salve. You are not an emblem of mercy. You are not a savior. You are not a necessity. You are not to play the role of do-gooder. It is not for you to lavish affection on everyone as if you purvey yourself as the sweetener of the world. Bless everyone, and yet be not prominent. Honey can be too sweet. You are not to see yourself as Lady Bountiful. Give but not succor. Give and be glad to give, yet not fly around seeing yourself as a giver. You are not the fulfiller of others’ needs. Do not be like Little Jack Horner who sat in the corner, pulled out a plum and said, “What a good boy am I.”
Of yourself, you cannot be the solver of everyone else’s perceived needs. Do not highlight yourself.