The little things that bother you, the little things that drive you up a wall, that drive you bonkers, that seem to assail you, why doesn’t that other person change his ways so you would not be so annoyed, you ask yourself.
Beloveds, better to ask yourself: “Why do I persist in being so annoyed? What makes me get hot in the collar because someone else has ways of behaving, habits that I do not approve of?”
Ask yourself: “What business is it of mine what someone else does or doesn’t do? Do I think I am the metronome of the world? Am I giver of commandments? Do I think that my immediate world is mine to command?”
Ask yourself: “Why do I insist on controlling what goes on in the world I co-habit? Since when did I become the authority? I, who resist authority, why do I persist in insisting on my authority?”
Beloveds, sometimes it seems that you think you are God Almighty! Of course, My irritated darlings, We are One, yet do you see Me running around, irritated at this, and irritated at that, irritated here and irritated there? When have you seen Me fit to be tied because of someone’s humming or something as catastrophic as that? What are these human ways of being that drive you up a wall?
Of course, you know it is better to live in harmony than in strife. Nevertheless, you seem to live in strife, and strife over trivia that do not amount to a hill of beans. When did you assemble such a list of irritants to torment you?
Sometimes it seems like you have an irritation quotient, and you take the stance that you must fill it. Instead of asking yourself, “Have I had my Wheaties today?” you ask, “Have I gone over my irritants for the day? Have I missed any? Have I been overwrought enough today? Have I filled my quota, or, do I still have more to go?”
You know that what drives you up the wall is nothing at all. You do know it. While others may have real problems, you forage for little annoyances and make them big. You embellish them. You call on them to disturb your day. Is this not the case? Am I describing your situation with annoyances truthfully?
What shall We do with you then?
Perhaps you can use more sleep. Perhaps you would look up rather than down. Perhaps you would do well to use a telescope rather than a magnifying glass.
Definitely, it will be good for you to make another list, a list of what turns up your mouth, a list of what passes your muster. Whatever you may see wrong in another person, there are some things that are right. In fact, there is a much longer list of what is right.
Maybe this person is always late. Maybe this person chews gum and snaps it. Maybe this person taps his foot. Maybe he smacks his lips, and you don’t like it. Maybe he drives you crazy because he drives you crazy!
Make a list of what is to like about this person. Maybe he is always glad to see you! Maybe he rolls with the punches. Maybe he is kind and generous. Maybe he knows how to be pleased rather than displeased. Start counting all the ways that this person who annoys you is also worth knowing, maybe even wonderful.
Instead of trying to reform this other person, note what is likeable. Transform yourself, beloveds. Transform yourself. Transform.