When you let go of resistance, life will be easier for you. You have a long list of what you welcome and a longer list of what you are sure you have to push away. Meanwhile, life comes to you heedlessly of what you think should or should not be. When what you refuse to have happen happens, then there is a crash, beloveds. What happens does not cause the crash. Your resistance causes the crash.
You magnify what might occur and you magnify the aftermath.
Suffering is relative. You have a sore toe, and you can't stop thinking about it. Then you hit your head, and your sore toe takes a back seat. This is how you let your life go up or down according to your perception of the incidents that befall. Incidents are incidental. They do not hold the importance you like to think they do. Incidents do not hold your life in balance. You hold your life in balance.
Your life depends upon you and not what befalls in life.
You may not like to hear that or accept that, and yet you are the determiner of how you welcome or resist life. Life is innocent. If there is a culprit, you are the culprit.
You might say that your life is rocky. If your life is rocky, you have lost your balance. Get a toehold on life. A storm comes, and a storm goes. From your point of view, loved ones come and loved ones go. From your point of view, it is good for loved ones to arrive, and bad for them to depart.
If your life is a yo-yo, it is you who holds the string. Life is doing its thing, and you are doing your thing. You must not hold on so tightly to life. You must free life and not take it so hard. Nothing is the making of you, and nothing is the end of you. I made you long ago. I did not make you to suffer. I did not. I ask you to stop your interpretations that tie you to suffering.
You are not going to love everything that befalls, yet that does not mean you have to battle what occurs.
When loved ones have died, they have died. Their bodies have died. Their bodies are no longer on Earth. Beat your breast and stamp your foot, and your loved ones' bodies still have left Earth. Let them go with ease. Let them go.
And when loved ones choose to move on somewhere else in the world, then let them go. It is not your call. If they have found new loves, you are not to control their lives. At the same time as you may wish they had stayed with you, you also have been freed. Free Will belongs to everyone, not just to you. I gave it to everyone. Do not mind so much when another's free will does not line up with yours. When you object strongly, that is when you create barriers, and that is when you suffer and may cause suffering to others as well. You may see the others as guilty and yourself as innocent. It is not innocent to make judgments. It is not innocent.
When you suffer emotionally, you are guilty of suffering emotionally. You may say that you have had enough suffering, and yet you must take some delight in it, or you would not continue it. Gain and loss are both relative. Neither gain nor loss exist except as you say so.