Much of the time you like life to be what you think it should be rather than what is. By the same token, you look to yourself to be what you should be and yet you see yourself as not. You want to be many things to many people, most of all, to yourself, to your picture of yourself.
You want to be what you think I want you to be. Beloveds, do not think that I want you to give up your peace to be an enabler to the world.
We have spoken about patterns in life. You may have a pattern of inviting turmoil and distress into your life, as if the ocean without a storm is too placid, too uneventful, too calm. Do you crave storms at sea? Do you like the roughness? Do you like life stirred so that you can think of disturbance from the outside rather than from the inside?
Sometimes you may say to yourself: “As a good person, I invite this one or that one into my life. I should help. This is what I should do.” And so you pat yourself on the back. You can be a good person without becoming the most wonderful giving person in the world especially when you cannot live up to it. You may give more than you can give. You may give what is not yours to give, and you may not give it very well.
Yes, you want to think about others, and yet you don’t want to think of others to the detriment of yourself. There are many ways to help and maintain peace in your life. You deserve to have peace. Remind yourself that you are a good giving person who maintains peace. Remember, beloveds, you are not the savior of anyone.
The Great Ones gave of themselves to others. The Great Ones brought others into their hearts but not into their hearths. They did not give up their peace for others. What good would they have done anyone then? The Great Ones kept their peace, and so they gave peace to the world. Can you imagine the Great Ones putting themselves into situations where they would resent others for disturbing their peace?
If you live in havoc, what are you giving to the world? And what are you giving to those whose havoc you may accept into your life?
I have never advised you to give a pound of flesh. I have never advised you to undercut yourself for the idea of an image of yourself you insist you must reflect. Truly, dear ones, you are not being unselfish when you let your life become disruptive.
Do not say, “Oh, well. I will live through this.” Do not say, “I am giving up my peace and quiet for the sake of others.” You are giving up your peace and quiet for an imagined picture of yourself. If you cannot react peaceably to havoc that you have invited into your life, then you have invited strife. You have added to the strife. You are thinking minutely. You are trying to be something you are not, and you do not even save yourself, let alone others. Do not think you are noble. You are creating a false picture of yourself.
On one hand you give, and in another, you take. You may take away from others their ability to fend for themselves. Certainly, you help no one when you fly off the handle.
Some people can put out fires. Some people can stay out of the fray. You may not be one of these. As you get angry and yell or whatever you do when you are angry, you are adding fuel to the fire. By virtue of feeling angry, you are aiding and abetting dependency upon you. You may have convinced yourself otherwise, yet what you are doing may be indulging yourself and not serving others at all.