There is no need to ask yourself the question: “Am I happy?” You are happy until you start asking yourself if you are. You lose your immediacy as soon as you question the state of your Being. Happiness is not a self-awareness technique. As soon as you call your attention to your happiness, it leaves. Happiness takes your asking as a dismissal.
As soon as you ask yourself, “Am I happy?” you start thinking of reasons why not to be happy. As soon as you ask yourself, “Am I really really happy?” you lose your state of happiness. It is like happiness is embarrassed and covers its face. Your natural state is of happiness.
If someone were afraid of heights, and did not know he was walking on a ledge twenty feet above the sidewalk, he would not be afraid. As soon as he becomes aware, fear sets in. Conscious awareness is not always the best place to be.
Better not to question where you are.
When you are involved in a creative project, painting or music or story-writing, for example, you are not thinking, “Am I happy?” You just are.
We could consider a state of happiness something like Godwriting. When you are Godwriting, you are in that state of Godwriting. If you say to yourself, “Am I Godwriting? Is this really Godwriting?” then you are out of the state.
When you ask yourself such questions, you put your attention on your motley self. When you are in a creative state, your attention is not on yourself. You are out of awareness of your little self.
Nor is this a good question for you to ask about someone else. “Is so and so happy?” Happiness is not to be thought about. Do you understand what I mean? Asking such questions is putting up a barrier to happiness. Happiness is not conscious of itself.
If you continually asked a rose, “Are you a rose? Are you really a rose? Are you always a rose?” even a rose will start to wonder about its own identity. A rose knows its rose-ness. Rose-ness is. A rose is a rose is a rose. And your natural state is happiness.
When you ask if you are happy, you interrupt happiness. When you ask, “Am I doing the right thing?” you waver. When you ask, “Should I spend my money on this object,” you waver.
When you ask yourself, “Am I happy?” you can only waver. A minute ago, you were happy. And now you ponder. And you push happiness off a cliff.
However, reversely, it does not work the same. If you say, “How unhappy I am. How can I be this unhappy?” the state of unhappiness deepens. You become sure of it. Your unhappiness is probably even worse than you thought. Now you become desperately unhappy.
Think about other things rather than about your state of happiness or unhappiness. Happiness is not a state of thinking. You cannot make yourself happy. The best thing you can do for happiness is to not think about it. Be it.
You do have a well of underlying happiness. Don’t muddy it. When you analyze the water, you stir it up. That’s how you muddy it. No longer muddy your happiness. Let it be.
If you want to add to your happiness, add to someone else’s happiness. Certainly, don’t add to someone’s unhappiness. Even when you have the thought, “I would like to do something that will make my friend happy,” you are adding to your own happiness.
Going within does not mean to ask about your happiness. Happiness is always yours, yet it is not something you possess. It is something you are.