It was suggested that we share our spiritual journeys. In that suggestion was the question of what were the turning points in our lives. I started there.
As I thought about truning points, I started to laugh. I've had so many turning points that I should join the Ballet! I have settled on just a couple of them. I will have to tell you they all seem major to me these days because I have such a wonder and appreciation for this process of allowing and encouraging us to become who we really are:
As the very, very shy child that I was at 4, 5, 6, 7 and beyond, it was pretty amazing and wonderful that 7 year old me stood up in the Sunday meeting of the church I was raised in and in front of all those big people I was too shy to even say hello to, I said "I know God has a job for me to do and I can't wait to grow up and do it." Sat down quickly and hid my face in my mother's arms. Seven year old me knew something. (The job was to become the very best version of me I am able, and laugh while I do it.)
As a teenager, about 15, I decided that formalized prayers didn't make any sense to me, so I began just having conversations with God, unloading all the things I didn't understand or know what to do with. I talked to God just like I would talk to you, no "thees" and "thous" there. I didn't really have any expectation or thought that God would actually talk to me, but sometimes I would get a wonderful warm and peaceful feeling in my heart and it seemed like that was God telling me that He/she understood and was with me. My spiritual journey has looked just like my life journey, and I don't think there is any difference in the two because what else am I but a spiritual being? I have been willful, stubborn, unyielding, bumbling, hard-headed, rebellious, and sometimes so outright obtuse it is hard to fathom. So you can see I had all of the stuff of a great adventurous life and journey of spirit to work with. (Big Smiles!)
My strong draw to things of spirit drew me to many things, most particularly a lifelong study of religions and spiritual philosophies and concepts. It drew me to the depths of despair at times and to the heights of bliss at others. It drew me to study for the Christian Ministry, and to help establish an ecumenical Christian church that I loved, and then had to leave. It drew me to incredible heartbreak and amazing grace to be found in the High Desert Mountains of Southern Utah, living in a tent for 4 months and having one continuous, nonstop conversation with God, the angels, and the Universe. THIS WAS A BIG TURNING POINT. In those beautiful mountains ( at 9,000 ft elevation) God, the angels and the Universe engaged me in conversation. I was probably taking up so much Bandwidth (computer humor here) they figured it would be best to respond in a voice or with a voice I could hear within. What I learned, and what I understood of what I learned guided me, informed me, lifted me up, healed me, and surrounded me in joy and peace. This conversation continued the entire 4 months and right on through my bumpy life. . . although I wasn't all that thrilled with the idea of "them" kicking me off my mountain. Who knows how long I might have stayed there, it was heavenly!
They let me know that although sitting on the mountain top might be my idea of a wonderful life, the growth of a being, the growth of a spirit is to be found in living the elements of my truth and doing it while interacting with the rest of the people of this planet every day. I was 33 years old and it was 1974. I had not courage enough to tell but a few others of my experiences or what I understood and learned from them, there were plenty of folks who thought I was crazy already just for living in a tent in the mountains. I had all the excuses not to talk about these experiences. And you better believe I used them liberally.
At that time in my life I was still thinking, as so many of us do, that there was some sort of division between day to day life and a spiritual life. No one could accuse me of being quick to get the real concept. That didn't slap me in the head until my late 40's when a friend, who claimed, then and now , she is not very into this spiritual stuff, loaned me a book to read. HUGE TURNING POINT! My what a perfect "accidental" event that was! It was a beautiful book by a Native American Woman that punched me in the heart, shook me awake, and brought me to tears by page 3. It was monumental in my life. I finally got it. All of life is spiritual! I finally got it. I am not my body! I finally got it. God/Great Spirit/Creator/Source (you choose) LOVES ME!!! I finally got it. I was not expected to be perfect, I was already perfect in the eyes of the Creator. Yes, I finally got it. . .or Knew it in my Knower as I like to say.
That book led me to an unquenchable hunger to learn more and more and more. I read book after book, hundreds of books over the next nearly 15 years. I lived it, breathed it, it was more important than food or air to me. Nothing else mattered. Nothing at all. I was determined to introduce myself to every book intuition led me to and to apply the knowledge that I was acquiring to my thoughts and actions. I read everything from the most Ancient of texts to the latest Channeling and "New Age" concepts. Sometimes I was really good at it. . . sometimes it just seemed I was no good at it at all. I ran, I jumped, I fell down, I tripped, I stumbled, I sometimes found myself face down on the floor sobbing and asking someone "Up There" to help me get up and to find a way to do this transformation. No matter how many times I fell, stumbled, tripped or ended up on my face on the floor, I always got up and kept on doing my best, which at times looked pretty pathetic. All through this time, I continued my conversations with Creator and the angelic entities. We were long time buddies by now. They began to speak louder and more clearly and I just figured it was the most natural thing there could be.
But then I let doubts and other people's opinions and questions get me distracted. Yeah, so why would angels or Creator or an ascended Master be talking to me, eh? Some people were really quite pleased to point out to me that of ALL the people this could happen to, I was a pretty unlikely candidate (1992). I have always said I am the Least Likely Suspect. Being very human in my humanness, having made enough mistakes (opportunities) for a dozen people let alone just one rebellious, adventurous, irreverent, and downright not very perfect person like me. . .it made me wonder. Why indeed? So, in my childlike way I asked "them". . .Why would beings like you be talking to the likes of me, really, I can think of a hundred more "God-like" or spiritual people than I will ever be just off the top of my head. Why me? The reply was quick, it was unmistakable:
"Why not YOU? And if you didn't want to have us interact and talk with you, why have you spent so many, many years talking to us and asking us for help and understanding? All of you are "God-like", you are from your Creator, you are literally a piece of your Creator. . .do you think that God sees you as anything less than a perfect creation? And do you think you are less worthy than the angels? All are worthy. We talk to you because you have talked to us, because you seek us, and you allow the communication. There is nothing more to it than that. Everyone has the ability. We wish everyone would use it. Maybe YOU will encourage them to." I got it. I still get it.
The last turning point I will speak of now was the year 2000. In February of that year, my 95 year old mother transitioned to the angels side of the veil. Two weeks later my live in partner of 8+ years went on a trip to visit family in upstate New York and never returned. Also never told me why or resolved anything for me at all. I was going to turn 60 that Fall. I was trying my best to stay at my job 2 more years so I could retire. I had very bad arthritis in both knees and the cartilage of both knees was gone. I was in unrelenting physical pain. Dr's said knee replacement was the answer, I said no. We add to that what I had thought was my perfect partner relationship dissolved suddenly and without notice or explanation, I was in unrelenting emotional pain. I was in financial pain. I was a mess. And I was angry!!
Now, you want a sample of what a fine advanced spiritual being I was at that time! I started yelling out loud as I limped through my empty house at night when I was in so much physical discomfort I could not sleep more than an hour at a time. The pain was incredible (magnified, of course by my emotional pain). I yelled at the angels, I called them out by name, every Archangel known to man and a few most don't know of, and I yelled with tears streaming down my face:
"This is a fine payback for me devoting every living breathing available moment for these past 15 years to the study and practice of spiritual truths! This is what I get? How can YOU do this to me? I have done the best I can, I have learned, I have grown I have been focused, sincere and dedicated. This is what I get?"
We can replay these scenes over and over again because they went on regularly, night after night. (And I won't tell you all the names I called them). Finally, after six months (I told you I was stubborn) I was exhausted. I knew I had to do something. So I did.
I signed up for a Workshop. Ronna Herman's "I AM Mastery" course. I took money I couldn't spare and I bought a plane ticket to Reno, paid for the course and I spent 4 days in this intensely focused training. (There are many reasons I chose this one, you or anyone else might find as much or more help and encouragement in some other or on your own). LIFE CHANGING ~ BIG TIME LIFE CHANGING.
Since that course 6 years ago, everything in my life has changed (even changed more than all the other times everything in my life changed). It was a time and place of Miracles. The 4 days I was there I was pain free, believe me that was a Miracle! I had an immediate connection to Ronna Herman, and two of the other students there were definite Soul Family members, we knew each other immediately.
As Ronna brought us messages (channels) from the energy being we know as Archangel Michael, He spoke in words and phrases that are not commonly used, words and phrases I had heard privately for several years now. I was embarrassed that He was talking directly to me, but goodness knows, no one needed it more than I did. There was no doubt in my mind that was the case. We were all in tears. It was a powerful time of discovery and guidance for each of us.
It has been nothing but Miracles, laughter, Joy, and unending wonderment ever since, sprinkled liberally with an abundance of opportunity (mistakes, misunderstandings and focus corrections).
Someday I will tell you about it.
What I have learned:
There is nothing but love
All is within
I AM responsible for everything in my life
What you give you get more of, more and more and more.
We are here to experience. . .so choose to experience it with great passion, Joy and Love.
(As you can see, you ALL are much better candidates for spiritual growth and advancement than I've ever been. If I am blessed so abundantly as I am. . .how much more will you be. And I'll be right there cheering you on!)
Love and Hugs,
Shirl