Beloveds, I know you would never speak ill of others, but what are you doing when you speak of others' difficulties? If you must see difficulty, if you must see fault, if you must see downfall, no longer tell others about it, for then you compound it. You, in effect, affirm the very declivities you see. These are not for you to confirm. Who are you to proclaim anyone else deficient in any way? Who are you to broadcast anything you see as weakness in another? Think twice.
Do not say: "My friend doesn't look well." "My friend has gone off the deep end." "My friend is getting mixed up with the wrong people." "My friend is a terrible housekeeper." "My friend lost all of his money."
I am not questioning the accuracy of such statements, although they may be inaccurate. I am questioning your talking about your friend to others. I am questioning your reason for doing so. Are your judgments infallible? Would you vouch for your conclusions in public? Would you want them repeated to your friend?
From now on, follow the adage that says: "If you cannot say anything good about someone, don't say anything at all".
You may think you are a good friend who has concern and love for your friend, and yet you are advertising, affirming, and compounding the dim light in which you are seeing your friend. You are doing this needlessly. Stop. Don't do it again.
You might say, "But, God, what else is there to talk about?"
Well, then, let there be nothing to talk about. Be silent then. Hush.
You have been fostering drama, and now you will not.
Think well of your friends and speak well of them too. Be a friend.
A friend keeps confidences. A friend keeps adverse observations to himself. He does not mount evidence against a friend's well-being
Oh, all right, perhaps talk to your husband or wife about your concerns, but do not broadcast your concerns. Broadcasting your concerns is not the same as broadcasting your love.
Better not to make a friend's perceived condition table conversation.
What is your business, and what is not your business? When do you step in, and when do you step out? When in doubt, don't. Be not so sure about a diagnosis you make about your friend. Think before you speak, beloveds, or you may be just gossiping. You don't want to be a gossip-monger. You want to be a friend. Then be a friend. A friend keeps counsel to himself.
Be aware when you are not championing your friend. Be aware when you are not championing your sons and daughters, or your husband or wife as well. This is not the first time you have been advised to focus on what you favor rather than on what you disfavor. Build what you want to build. Do not go into a huddle with other friends and announce your fears.
Speak not ill of others, and you will change the outlook of the world. You certainly will change your own outlook and the view in your own mind. As you no longer promulgate the real or imagined ills of others, you will find yourself at peace.
It is like this: When you reference a friend, give only a good reference. Love your friend in heart and in deed and in speech. Keep your friend's reputation high, and so will you keep your own vibration high.