*On their way to a justice of the peace to get married,
a couple has a fatal car accident. The couple is sitting
outside heavens gate waiting on St. Peter to do the
paperwork so they can enter.
While waiting, they wonder if they could possibly get
married in heaven.
St. Peter finally shows up and they ask him. St. Peter
says, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone has
ever asked. Let me go find out," and he leaves.
The couple sit for a couple of months and begin to
wonder if they really should get married in Heaven,
what with the eternal aspect of it all. What if it doesn't
work out?" they wonder. "Are we stuck together forever?"
St. Peter returns after yet another month, looking
somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informs the couple,
"you can get married in Heaven."
"Great," says the couple, "but what if things don't work
out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"
St. Peter, red-faced, slams his clipboard onto the ground.
"What's wrong?" exclaims the frightened couple.
"Good Grief!" St. Peter exclaims, "It took me three months
to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long
it's going to take for me to find a lawyer?"
**A desperate young mother had two incorrigible boys.
Having exhausted all suggestions for controlling the
little hellions, she tried one last approach: she took
hem to the meanest preacher in town for a lecture.
First the older boy was admitted into the stern minister's
study. Glaring at the boy from behind the desk, the
preacher waited a few moments, then challenged the
boy: "Young man, where is God?"
The boy was stunned to silence. The preacher rose
part way out of his chair and repeated the question:
"I asked you, Where Is God?"
The boy began to quake with dread .... this was no
ordinary lecture for being bad! Stepping around from
behind the desk, the impassioned
preacher now shouted his question, "WHERE IS GOD!?"
At this, the boy leaped from his chair and bolted out the
door, running headlong into his little brother.
"What's wrong? What's the matter?" his brother asked.
"It's awful!
The church has LOST GOD and they're BLAMING US!"