You are not necessarily equivalent in how you judge yourself and how you judge others. You may be harsher with yourself or harsher with others. But all judgment is harsh, beloveds.
You may say that you don't judge, that you live and let live, yet judgment is also in the mind of those that say Live and let live. There is no call to grant permission for that which is natural and, to all extents and purposes, not really your concern. Even when you are right. Even when you, above all, are right, you have stepped out of bounds. That you are your brother's keeper does not mean that you have jurisdiction over another. You have no say on how another conducts his life. A brother does not seek to overtake or countermand his brother.
Each person acts in the world according to his perception. His perception is not the same as yours. Bearing that in mind, everyone is right. Everyone is right as he sees it.
Even when the person himself avows that something is not worthy to do, he may do it. And so one drinks too much or overeats or drugs himself or steals or is short-tempered. In that case, it would seem that people don't even have say over themselves, for they do not always follow their own advice. What makes you think that someone would follow yours?
Even when you are right by every standard you know, you don't know. Even when a beloved's actions lead to their demise, or imprisonment or poor health, no one on Earth can say for sure that their life was wrong. Maybe it was right in a way that you cannot see.
Another's life may not at all fulfill the hopes you have for them. Yet it is their life to live as they choose, even when their choices are not the choices you would make for them, or anyone. Even when you love someone, you have to let them go according to their vision or lack of vision, even if, from your perspective, perhaps from everyone's perspective, perhaps even from their own, they hurt their life on Earth. It is their choice, not yours, beloved.
This is not throwing up your hands. This is loosening your hold. Your emotional hold. This is acknowledging to yourself that everyone is a free-wheeling being and has the right to the determination of his own life, whatever you may think of it. In this way, you free him and you free yourself from obligation. Obligation is a great weight. Obligation is an infringement on freedom.
You also have choices. You have the choice to let go of your perceived right to condemn or chastise another's life. And you have the choice not to be heart-broken. You have the choice to run your own life. You have the choice to give up disapproval, even when disapproval is the only thing that makes sense. This is humbling.
When someone is crippled and cannot walk, you do not demand that they get up and walk. You don't demand it time and time again. You are not irate with them. You do not hold it against them. You do not rail at them. You are aware that, at this juncture of time and space, they simply cannot walk.
It is not your mission to insist that they walk. You do not take over their life. You hold doors open, and you let them go through portals themselves. And then you walk on.
And so must you do with all those who appear less capable than you. Bless them. Entitle them, just as I entitle you.