You do not need to believe in Me. Nothing is lost if you don't believe in Me. Belief isn't a big deal. Knowing Me yourself firsthand is another story, but it is not necessary that you believe in Me in order to know Me.
But you do need to believe in yourself more. You fight yourself when you fight My very existence. You torment yourself, or you toss yourself away. You foment about Me or you ignore My place in your heart altogether. This is your internal war, or your truce, or your desertion.
I am the same as I always was. All your thoughts and emotions do not detract from Me. They detract from you.
I never wash My hands of you. No matter how much you need to prove or disprove Me, I am with you just the same. And I am always coaxing you forward.
Before you is where I am. I am on all sides of you, including inside and out, but you will find Me in front of you. There is no glass between Us. Not even a mirror, although We use that image a lot, of your looking into a mirror, but that is only an "as if", for the truth is I am directly before you. There is nothing between Us.
It is not exactly that you have to catch My eye, for I am always looking into yours. You simply have to see what is in front of you.
There is not one of you who is not a seeker. Admit it or not, you do seek the more than what you presently allow. Even your attempts to disprove Me are attempts to prove Me. Even your disappointment in Me says you yearn for Me.
Even your awakening is nothing more than seeing what has always been right before you. It is nothing new. You just thought you were somewhere else than where you now recognize you are.
What has changed? You are in the same spot, but something in you has moved. You have opened yourself to something within. You have been awaiting yourself.
You may think I am not worthy to be God, but it is yourself you find unworthy to know My existence. Even if you perhaps think you are mightier than I and know better than I, you have cut yourself off from a part of yourself. You have put something wonderful just out of your apparent reach as if it could not be there or would only be folly to be there. You may lead yourself forcefully, but your destination has nevertheless escaped you. You run to the top of a hill, but then what? Where do you go from there?
Whether you admit Me or not, all your strength comes from Me. Even all your strength to hold on to your battling Me comes from Me.
I have you firmly in My awareness. I have you right in My sight. What I may not have is your awareness of Me.
I offer you everything, and you prefer not to accept.
I displeased you once and again, and now you don't want to have anything to do with Me. You have crossed Me off your list. And yet you head Mine. Your name is right here on My lips, and I say it over and over again.
You have never disappointed Me, for I know your heart more than you do. You are the toddler who wants to run away from home, but what you really want is to be loved more than you feel you are. You mistook something for non-love, and you are protesting. You are angry with Me for creating a world that you find lacking.
Will you, instead, help Me light it?