I am entitled to miracles
I am on Lesson 77, “I am entitled to miracles.” In the last week or so, two long meditations have been a part of the daily practices. I have been disappointed in most of these longer meditations because I didn’t feel/get what the Course seemed to tell me to expect. For example, Lesson 69 asks us to think of our mind “as a vast circle, surrounded by a layer of heavy, dark clouds,” and then, “Determine to go past the clouds. Reach out and touch them in your mind. Brush them aside with your hand; feel them resting on your cheeks and forehead and eyelids as you go through them. Go on; clouds cannot stop you.” The course described the successful outcome of this meditation as “you will begin to feel a sense of being lifted up and carried ahead.”
Well, I didn’t. I even felt extreme difficulty in conjuring up that image of the circle of clouds in my mind. I felt disappointed . . . maybe even as if I wasn’t good enough to receive these experiences.
But, today’s lesson tells me, “I am entitled to miracles.”
Today’s lessons told me to think this thought confidently, and to wait quietly for the assurance that my request for miracles will be granted. The Course said, “You cannot fail to be assured in this.” A tiny, weak voice in my head asked, “But what if you do fail?”
I prayed confidently to the Holy Spirit before beginning this morning’s meditation and asked him to speak to me so that I could hear.
He answered immediately. As soon as I began my meditation, an image was provided for me. It was an image that had never been suggested to me by the Course or any other external source, so I know that it was being given to me as a gift from the Holy Spirit so that I would know that he was there talking directly to me.
I saw the image of a little girl, maybe four or five years old, hiding in a dark corner behind an open door. She was hiding in the shadow of the door, between the open door and the wall. It was just a sliver of darkness, just enough to cover her body, but the little girl was frightened. She was lost and confused, and she could not find her way out of the darkness to the light, even though the light was all around her. I was the little girl, but I was looking at her from the perspective of standing in the room of light, and I could see that she wasn’t actually in a frightening place – she wasn’t actually lost, she was in the same room as the rest of us, but she thought she was lost. My father (God) loved her very much and didn’t want her to be afraid, so he sent a caretaker (the Holy Spirit) to reach into the shadow and pull her gently into the light so that she could be happy again. When she came into the light, she would also be able to see the small shadow she had been lost in, and she would then realize there never had been anything to fear.
Then, my perspective changed. Instead of watching the little girl, I was the little girl in the shadow. And, I saw the hand of light reach in for me. The hand didn’t grab me and pull me from the shadow; that would have been very frightening. The hand simply lingered and waited for me to decide to reach out for it. Once I did, it gently and joyously pulled me from the shadow into the light.
I knew that the hand represented the miracles of the Holy Spirit. As the little girl, I was entitled to that hand that helped me out of the shadow; after all, my father sent the hand to get me. It was my natural right because I was my father’s daughter. All that was needed on my part was to reach out and take the hand.
Through the gift of this image, I know that I received full and unquestionable assurance that I am entitled to miracles. It was quick and easy, possibly because I needed quick and easy today. The Holy Spirit wanted to leave no room for doubt today. I am the Child of God lost in the shadow of an open door, and I am entitled to the gentle miracles that will pull me into the Light.
The meditation image ended with me and myriads of my brothers and sisters all holding on to the hand (which was much bigger now; hundreds of us could grasp one large finger) and being pulled gleefully from the shadow into the Light.