Forgiveness in it's highest form is given unconditionally
Forgiveness in it's highest form is given unconditionally, without pretense or superiority. Meaning that it is given with an open heart and not an "I'm better than you are for forgiving you of your wrong-doing" mindset.
Several years ago when the Greenriver killer was to receive sentencing, each of the families of those he killed got to stand before him and say anything they wanted about what they thought of him and his heinous acts of violence. On television they showed family after family cursing him with as much hatred and anger as they could possibly muster. They yelled at him and tried desperately to shame him into some kind of remorse. A truly human response to such inhumanness.
There was no remorse in this man's eyes or facial expressions.
The murderer sat there stoned face - zero, nadda, zip - looking and “acting like” an emotionless, heartless, soulless sociopath.
And then one father came to the stand. He was deeply grieved for the loss of his daughter.
With a full and open heart he simply said, "I forgive you."
His message had the pure power and force that struck the murderer right in the deep center of his hardened, walled off heart. You could literally see and feel the instantaneous impact of one man's forgiveness on the soul of a man who had murdered so many.
The murderer was immediately overcome with deep grief, and began sobbing openly.
There was a person and a soul in there after all.
What an amazing and profound effect the one simple act of forgiveness can have on all humanity.
So what is the message to you and to me?
We are currently a society that practices treating each other harshly for our humanness and our woundedness.
We often treat each other as if we were each other's enemy, when even the simplest errors in human behavior have been made.
We come "at" our spouses, children, co-workers, bosses, etc. "as if" they are the enemy we have to protect ourselves against, rather than people to communicate preferences to and with.
This "coming at" the problem with another person is an attitudinal energy field that will get us more problems in our relationships, not less.
We think the answer is to remain in fight or avoidance mode.
We think the answer is to "withhold" love, not give it.
We think the answer is to "control" error behavior, not garner and invite the best in people through the transformative power of love, acceptance, approval, accommodation, acknowledgment and understanding.
We think the answer is to remain in a "protected" state, not an open and loving state.
None of these hard-hearted authoritative approaches for dealing with people problems will ever heal or transform a situation or a relationship.
Things can and do escalate out of control when hate and judgment have been the largest percentage of the feedback a person has received their entire life.
The results of years of extensive woundedness, judgment, minimization and dismissal of any human being can be so extreme that it creates "inhumane" results.
We simply cannot create a world of peace when we judge each other so harshly ...and therefore ourselves.
We must practice "giving" love away, especially when we are most irritated or in fear, and we must practice for-giving in order to have a ripple affect the world over.
How do you forgive the unforgivable?
How do you stop fighting people who do stupid, nasty, cruel, mean-spirited things?
How do you deal with people who abuse and control?
How do you stop running away from and avoiding conversations with people you fear will harm you?
Seek ye first to understand, and then to be understood.
Statement of Intention: "I am one with the wisdom of intuitive understanding."
You are not condoning what happened, you are giving what happened away.
You are releasing it and freeing yourself from the fear of it and the judgment of it and any and all power you gave it to have control over your life.
Understanding gives you that freedom and gives you all power.
You do not have to remain a victim, unless you choose to.
Forgiveness is given, not earned.
It is your only freedom from whatever has occurred.
Understanding is the answer.
Love is the answer.
Peace is the answer.
For-giving is the answer.
What will you decide to be?
in Light & Love,
Author of YouAreLoveMovie.com