Removing the obstacles to love's presence, post 2
Fear . . . what a topic. As I am sure you have discovered, most of us have no idea how much fear there is within our mind until we seriously embark on the spiritual path. As we begin to approach the Light, we also find the fear.
I began to approach the Light in 2004. My first experience with fear came when I had the “Brad Pitt dream.” If you haven’t heard of this dream, it is a dream that the Holy Spirit used to teach me who I am, how I came to be in the world and why I remain in the world. When I woke up from that dream and realized what I had dreamed, I had my first fear-episode. Coming face-to-face with the fact that I am the mistaken Son of God . . . the dreamer of the dream . . . and not Regina Dawn Akers scared me.
My second fear-episode came when I received my calling to write with the Holy Spirit. I had a vision followed by an experience of hearing the Voice for the first time. And then I felt a lot of fear. This episode was stronger than the first one. Again, the fear came up because I was approaching the Light. Or in this case, it felt as if the Light has approached me with a personal request, and it scared me. It was a natural ego reaction to Light.
A series of fear-episodes came when I received my calling to leave my job and life in Massachusetts and begin a life of guidance. The calling came, and the fear began, in December of 2004. I experienced the fear in continuous waves until November of 2005. So, it was about a year of recurring bouts of fear.
This fear was the fear that just seems to come over you at night. It is intense. It wakes you up. You find yourself afraid as if you are facing death. You fear you are walking down a road from which you will never return. You fear you are making the greatest mistake you could make. It grips you. It can hold on all night long, and it can hold on for days. You move around visibly shaking. It seems impossible to feel the Light when you are thrust so deeply into the dark by fear.
As I mentioned, I felt this fear on again and off again for a period of about a year. And then at some point, I began to grow tired of the fear. I realized that I am not the victim of fear. I realized that I was continuing to suffer these “dark nights of the soul” because I was not walking through the fear . . . I was standing in it. I remembered Jesus telling Helen that he could not take her fear away, and I knew it was my responsibility to decide to be finished with the fear.
The fear was strong . . . very, very strong. I had no idea how to let it go, but I had willingness. I had grown tired of the fear. It was wearing me out. So, I told the Holy Spirit that I was willing to let go of the fear, and I asked the Holy Spirit to help. And the Holy Spirit answered. I entered into a teaching-learning period that lasted about a month. During this time, the Holy Spirit taught me all about my fear. As I learned, I became more and more willing to let go of fear, because it became more and more clear that fear was my choice, and I did not need to continue to make that choice.
Then, in December 2005, I had the opportunity to teach everything the Holy Spirit had taught me in the last month about fear. As I taught it, I let go of the fear. I felt the joy of knowing that I did not need to choose fear, and I simply let go of it. I haven’t experienced a fear episode since.
Now I live on trust. In fact, here is a great thought that the Holy Spirit gave me in December of 2005
Trust in your Self.
Trust in you.
Trust your guidance.
Trust in Love.
Trust in all that comes your way.
for trust is not fear.
So you see, trust is the antidote for fear.
The Holy Spirit shared several messages with me as it taught me about my fear in order to lead me to make the decision to let go of it it. Here is one of them
Holy Spirit Every thought that you accept, you accept because it serves a purpose that you have aligned with. You can seem to have mixed purposes because your mind seems split, but this is merely a state of indecision.
Indecision can seem to be intolerable because of the insane thought that wants you to decide for it. Yet, because you do know the truth and you are not insane, you can never wholly support that thought. This is why the mind seems split. Until you choose to give that thought no more thoughts of support, you will seem to have mixed purposes, and you will experience some pain and discomfort.
Regina The pain and discomfort comes from supporting the insane thought against my true Will and reason. Right? And, can you tell me more about the purpose of fear.
Holy Spirit Yes, pain and discomfort come from supporting the insane thought. And yes, that is because it is against your true Will. Like everything else, and this is true of everything without exception, fear is a thought. When you look at fear and see it as nothing but a thought, and you remember that all thought either supports Truth or insanity, which “bucket” would you put fear in?
Regina It supports insanity.
Holy Spirit So, that is its purpose. As long as you hold onto fear, you support the split within the mind, and you do not fully accept the remedy.
You cannot wait for fear to be gone in order to accept Truth, for accepting Truth ends fear because the purpose [fear] supported is gone.
Now, when I see fear in my mind, I remember the purpose that fear supports. I also remember my purpose, and I recognize the two are not in alignment. I forgive fear by letting it go, and I refocus on the thoughts of the Holy Spirit.
p.s. You can hear about the “Brad Pitt dream” in my teaching called All About the Dream. You can also hear the entire story of how the Holy Spirit helped me to let go of fear in my teaching called Let’s Talk About Fear. Both are available at www.forholyspirit.org. Click on the Audio Recordings link.