I can't remember beginning of my conscious spiritual journey. Maybe it was when i was 13 and i went on sailing camp... and we had to swim 50 metres to show that we can swim. I didn't swim well ( i think i didn't swim at all ) but i jumped to high waters of that lake and in the middle of the distance i thought calmly "I think i will drown..." and the next one was "That would be stupid, 20 metres from the land?!" I somehow managed to swim all of the distance, but from that moment I have started to think a lot about death... what, how, why.
Then came high school, and developing of my interests - through photography came the theater, acting. This one pushed me to pantomime. And right know ( in this moment i have realised this one ) i regret so much that i have stoped this one. There are two schools of pantomime / french and the rest of the world. In France physical conditions are most important. Rest of the world think about mental experience. I was in the second one. It really was so. It learned me respect and love to body and to movement, gesture. The moments where everybody looks like they are flying up holding ballons are priceless, and you don't really need mastercard for the rest. Just your intension. Ah. Nevermind. I lived in world created by this things, and luckily i didn't have to go to my high school at all ( this interests toke lots of my time and i told to each of my teachers about that and they agreed that i don't have to go for their classes at all, only exams. I passed German lessons by showing by pantomime word: Germany. )
First in first two years i was catholic as much as i could. Though after this period came time when i had to many questions and priests told me just not to think about them. And i choose god, not the institution of church.
Right know i belive and love Jesus / Sanada and still it hasn't changed.
Then came collage. First was Classical Philology in Cracov. I loved to write ( in polish only :) ) and i thought maybe this will help. Thought it wasn't good choice. Then next one was Theater, acting school. And once again the choice wasn't right. During this period lots of things and thoughts came, and at the end i was living 5 months at the edge of civilization with my parents and youngest sister Gabriela ( 4 years old :) ) ( exams are here in October, and i quit acting at the end of April )
It was manson my parents build for eight years, they work of life as they used to say at that time, in the middle of forest. I drank morning coffee see dears 20 metres away, worked and helped finishing this beautiful place. Working. Calming down after collage life. Playing piano and watching movies at the evenings, i was in heaven, in the same as i am know. I passed exams to Artistic education on University of Lodz and Poznan ( there are daily and evening studies, for the first one you don't have to pay, thought lots of people try in the exams. I was lucky again ) I had choice between psychology/cognitive studies and artistic education, and choice harder path, not so money making - art. The right choice i think.
Before October one thing happened. At 24th of September I was with my dad in the manson and without any reason roof set on fire. Thought the roof and all thing except walls were wooden everything burned. Except for couple of things we managed to bring outside.
I stayed there almost to October to look after the burned house, because my dad went to Warsaw to my mother just to calm down and be with her, with Gaby, and my another sister and brother.
I stayed there because law says that if someone would be hurt by something in burned house my father would go to prison, even if this is his land and no one is permitted to enter, some stupid kid could see the house walk into it... weird country, even weirder law.
This days realised me many things. That's when I started to life all my life, or at least as much as i can spiritually. Except for my parents house, there were all my things i had, souvenirs, adreses, photos, documents, books, cloths. And they weren't that important.
Right know after 8 months i am in small room in Lodz, renting apartment with 2 students of psychology, thinking about magic in life. About Violet light, Energy that flows around, about Source of Everything, God, about Auras, Vibrations. Looking in the internet as much things as i can and then i take a walk to university. i breath. i live. As never before.
Take care. Live. I am only at beginning and i am only 21, but I am trying to learn as much as i can. I wish i could heal people. As mountains did to everyone. I can only help kids from pathological families right know working in foundation doing theatral workshop for them, but i wish i could do much more. Things much more important.
However I have to fix myself first, and that's what i am doing. Right know In this moment, when sun sets in Lodz. Love, Much of Love.
"You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old
because you stopped laughing ( expecially at yourself )"
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
p.s. I will reedit it because this is all that came to my mind, not the story of my spiritual journey, as it should be. :roll: