Sleeping with The Angel of Life
I went to bed early, but stayed up reading late, and did not turn out the light until 3:30AM. I was in a very comfortable and satisfied mood. I knew I didn't have to go to work in the morning, so I was not worried about not being able to go to sleep.
All of a sudden, I felt somebody behind me in the bed. A male. A very physical male. I even felt his weight on the mattress. I felt him surrounding me, enveloping my body. Yet, I was not freaked out, scared, nor did I feel weird. It felt as if this was the most normal thing that anybody can except. There was somebody in the bed with me, and it felt good.
I eased into the “cocoon”, and let out a long, satisfied sigh. Then, I asked (well, not literally, but mentally asked) the “entity”…
Who are you? - and he replied, in the same “mental fashion”:
I am the one who loves you, who always loved you, and will always love you. I loved you in pervious lives, I loved you in between lives and I will love you in all of your next existences. I never leave you, I never left you. I never found you. I was always here”.
Then, I said, I really do not need a man. I just need you. But, how come, that I can’t always feel you, if you say you were always here?
For the same reason you can not remember the reason you are here for, nor your destiny. You know and feel all of that as a spirit, you know and remember in your soul. But, you’re not in spirit word, you do not exist in ethereality: you are in the corporeal world. You are experiencing the “human condition”. You sense and perceive with your corporeal senses. I need a corporeal body to dwell in to get close to you. But, I can not do that without your consent.
So, you go from body to body, from men to men? You were there in all the men I met?
Not all, he said. Often, you did not want me to be. Often, they did not let me in. Other times, I was there, but you refused to see me or feel me.
You can be in any man at all? As long as I let you be? Can you be in Sasa? I might be able to get him sleep with me…and I like him….so, can you please, be in Sasa?
Remember, I need his consent too. It is just as much up to him, that it is up to you.
What do you mean? How can it be up to me? Are you suggesting I have the power to make him give his “consent”?
No, you don’t. Power is a human illusion. No one can make anybody do anything without their consent. You can’t “trick” Sasa to sleep with you unless he wants to. And no one can trick you to do anything, unless you’ve already gave your consent. But unless YOU let it happen first, it can not happen. Unless you are open to it, it will not happen. Unless you want it to, it can not happen. Unless you recognise it, it can not happen.
So, that’s love then I asked…when I let you in, I recognize you, I welcome you in a man. And he lets you use his body, he recognizes you, and welcomes you…that’s falling in love, isn’t.
No, it’s not he said. Love is one of the many labels humans like to attach to feelings that they can not understand. You attach labels like trust, safety, love, enlightenment, power, knowledge, wisdom…to a feeling that is all of that, and nothing like that at all. It is connection and unison with your higher self, and the other person’s higher self, and the high order of the universe that you are part of. Connection and alignment with God. . Connection, agreement, and a complete sense of letting go of your self in order to be part of the whole.. Of loosing control and giving up control. But humans do not like loosing control. They want to possess, to control, to hold and to keep. They don’t understand that they don’t have to. Because, all of this, they already have, and can never loose. All they can do, is to become disconnected.
But, I still don’t understand. Why do we need another person to help us to connect? Why can’t I feel like I feel like this all the time?
Love is in everything and everything is in Love. You make connections with Love every day in many different ways. When you eat, when you see the sunrise, when you breathe, you connect with Love. But all those things do not have souls like humans do. Thus, when you connect with another human, you experience the connection with Love itself, in a much more powerful, much more recognisably way, in a "physical" way, through the fusion of your souls.
So, are you me then? Are you my soul? Or are you some kind of guardian angel? Are you God?
I am part of you, but I am not all that you are. I am Whole and you are part of me. Each soul is part of the same Universe, the same God, yet every spirit is individual. Some are more connected to the universe, more enlightened. Some become disconnected and separated. When two souls make a connection, and fuse, they experience a state of being, that reminds them of the time when they were completely united with the Universe. With God. When the spirit finishes it’s human mission, it returns to God, and unites with him in a way that ultimately much more powerful; because, by uniting with God, then, truly, the soul unites with all the other souls of the universe. It’s a feeling all humans remember, and seek all their life.
All your life, you are chasing the experience, choosing activities that you are associating with the feeling. Yet, you are afraid of it. You’re afraid it can happen with the wrong person. If you associate the connection with kissing, you are afraid that if you kiss the wrong person, you are going to fall in love with the wrong person. You don’t understand, that there is no wrong person, or right person. You don’t understand that every person you meet, is neither wrong or right. Nothing can happen without your consent. You choose every person who comes into your life, and every experience you have, even the most painful and traumatic ones. You decide what path you will follow, what path you need to follow even before you come to this life. You choose your parents, your children, your lovers and your enemies.[/b]
But, you forget all of this. You become disconnected. You resist the path that you have already gave your consent to. You don’t want to go there…you forget, that you have no choice. Your soul does. And your soul always chooses the right path. The right path for this life time. You can never go wrong. You can never be right. The only thing you can do is to follow your destiny , give it everything you got, and to stay connected to the force that you are part of. The only choice, and duty you have, is to live until the day you die.
Then, it does not matter whom do I fall in love with, or if I fall in love at all.
Not only does it not matter, but also, it is not under your power. Not under your control. Remember, everything needs your consent, but it also needs the other person’s consent. They need to choose you. Every so often, two spirits that are on the same level, on the same connection, same awareness, unite. Sometimes, it does not happen in an entire lifetime. Sometimes, it happens many times during one life. But, it happens to everyone, when it is time and when it is needed. Then, what humans call true love occurs.
You’re talking about soulmates? Finding a soulmate to find true love?
There are Soul Mates, Souls that have been prearranged to meet, and if they recognize each other, and if they give consent to each other, stay together for the duration of their corporeal life. This arrangement is what humans refer to as “marriages made in heaven”. However, true love is not limited to one Mate. True Love, Perfect Love is possible with each and every soul you meet. There are souls that will come and stay for a while, to accomplish a task, bring a message, or help each other to grow. Guides. Teachers. Mentors. Messengers. Take for example Andrew. You thought he was your soulmate, yet, he was not in this life. . You had a very strong connection with him, because a part of you recognized him, and he recognized you. Yet, it was not meant to be for the two of you to stay together, as he was not “assigned” to be with you. There are other men, and women too, whom you met, souls who were not your soul mates, but they had a mission or project to accomplish in your life. You’ve met, women and men who were your soul mates in some of your lives, you were lovers, in others, you were enemies. When Soul Mates meet, and the souls “recognize” each other, there are very powerful feelings. Sometimes, these feelings are misread, get “contaminated” and soul mates who did not become aware of the reason and purpose of their strong feelings to each other, may become enemies instead of lovers.
Did I met Sasa in another life?
You know the answer to this one. You’ve met many times in lives and deaths and in betweens. You can not remember it all…and you don’t need to. If you did, you could not function in this “corporeal” world. You made connections many times, and did not at other times. But, again, you’ve recognized him, and he recognized you. You feel you know him, and you are right. But, don’t forget: this is another life, another you, another Sasa. You don’t know him now. He does not know you know. You don’t know the path you need to take, or he needs to take. You don’t know the fate of either of you in this life. Because, no matter how many times you’d met in other lifetimes, it is always the first time in the current life. The only thing is that is for sure, that you both gave your consent to meet again, for whatever purposes you needed to meet.
He will stay exactly as long as you need him to stay, and exactly as long as he needs to stay. And, so did every other men in your life, as will everybody who might follow. It is all predetermined and agreed to.
You think it is a coincidence that you met him? Of course, it is not. Humans always want to know why…they don’t understand that there is no reason, and yet, everything is with a reason.
I think I understand. I need to trust my fate, to follow my destiny, to go with the flow…let go and let God…let the drama of my life unfold the way it is supposed to be. But, what do I do with the feeling of wanting it to be good? Of wanting to find my soulmate, of wanting to be loved, of being scared of getting hurt? I don’t seem to be able to let go of this.
You were on the verge of the truth a few weeks ago. You yourself said, “you can not loose love, because it is in you, it is a part of you. It can not be taken away and can not leave you”. Remember this the next time someone leaves you or does not treat you the way you want to be treated. Remember the next time a person does not want to give you their love. Remember the next time, when you are ready to make a connection, and they are not. When you feel you have lost, and was left. Remember, that you can not ever loose something that was not yours to begin with. Remember, that no one can take anything away from you that you did not give away. Remember, that love will always stay with you, search you out, follow you, and will every so often, in this life time or another, smile back at you from the mirror that is the soul of the other, if you are willing to see it.
And now, relax. Go to sleep. When you wake up, it will be another day of this life time. Know that you are exactly where you need to be. Know that you are exactly who you need to be. Know that your fate is exactly what it needs to be, what you already gave your consent to. Live this life and forget about the previous one, or the next. Don’t live in the past, nor in the future. Live in this life, in this day, in this moment. Make it good. Make it last, make it matter. When you are ready to wake up, I will be there to open your eyes.
P.S. The above is an excpert from and originally appears in my "fictional nonfiction" novel under publication- "The Angel of Life" All names of the living and innocent had been changed. Similarity to events, people or circumstances is purely coincidental- as coincidental as life itself